help,how to survive with three children

Really need to sort out a divorce,been asking for years but he won't agree.I have three children 8,7 and 9 months.Have been really unhappy for the past five years but his williness to try counselling etc to sort his anger and mood problems has kept me hanging on for the childrens sake.Now after yet another miserable christmas pretending all is hunkydorey i'm feeling really low and need light on the horizon.The main reason i've stopped going through with divorce proceedings is money,i'm only a childminder and i can't see how i'd manage on my own.We have a small three bedroom house,which i'm told i'd be entitled to keep for the children,but as my husband has debt probelms i don't think he would contribute much for the children.I want to give them a happy and secure childhood away from the constant arguements and moods.Can anybody give me any positive news that thay've been here and done it??

hi battie, i'm afraid i can't personally offer news about having been there and done it but i am in a similar position to you and just wanted to say welcome - you will find lots of positive support here and i am sure there will be many who can give us some hope that it will all work out. ((hugs)) and best wishes to you for 2009.
pink x

Hi welcome to wiki

Plenty of us on here have gone through the divorce process and have come out the otherside.Your ex will be required to pay 25% of his net income for the children regardless what he says.

If you have a good look roun the forum and read alot of posts you will see some questions fairly similair to yours this will give you some idea of whats what in the legal process.

5th Jan see's the live legal surgery back where you can ask our barrister questions.

Keep posting and you will recieve the support you need.

You will probably also be entitled to benefits of one sort or another. The Citizen's Advice Bureau can run a benefit check for you and see what you would be entitled to.

It's not good for your children to grow up in the shadow of your husband's anger and moodiness. It's also not good for them to grow up with your unhappiness. If you find yourselves creeping around and treading on eggshells to keep the peace and stop him being angry then that is not good for anyone and indeed you may be in an abusive relationship.

Take things slowly and plan carefully. You can certainly get through this with three children. As the others have said, many of us have been in your position and lived to tell the tale.

Best wishes, and good luck,

Sadie

Hallo and welcome

You aren't happy and that's not good for the children. There are lots of books and online guides about both the financial and emotional aspects of divorce and of course, this site will support you:)

My ex left 6 months ago. He is able to continue paying the mortgage and bills. I've got 25% council tax reduction and also have working tax credit and child tax credits.
More information about these here:https://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/WhatAreTaxCredits.aspx

I suggest you draw up a budget and then see how you can a) cut expenses and b) increase income.

Where there's a will there's usually a way.

Hi there

If you post your financials, the wiki peeps can tell you what you may walk away with, which may help you in your decision making process. Overall I can tell you that on divorce, the court's primary concern regarding the finances is ensuring that the children are not hit detrimentally.

Read this:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html

Post that info, and peeps will try to help you.

Amanda