hello from depressed & stupid

I'm so glad to have found this. I'm in the process of filing for divorce. I have 3 children 14, 4 & 2. I'm English & currently living in Sweden with my Swedish husband & worried to death that i'm going to be stuck here forever, & if I return to UK lose my children (2 born in england & my youngest here). My husband never wants me to go out unless it's taking the kids to school or grocery shopping, we have no social life as a couple apart from dinner with his parents, he doesn't speak to me & sleeps in the spare room. won't talk about what's going on, & constantly goes out drinking with his mates returning the next morning without a word of apology, & if i say anything it's my problem for being boring. May it's me, i'm beginning to think it is... to top it off i've just discovered lots of unpaid bills running into thousands.
sorry to whinge!!

Hi Tash, Have you any family in the Uk, are you able to return back with your children. Why will you lose your children? Sweden is part of the EU, so you should be able to pass into the UK without any hinder or problem. I would be getting out of there ASAP, your husband sounds like a control freak and these type of men have the ability to make it look as though it is your fault. You can then sort out your divorce in the UK. Good luck and get the courage to get out of him now.

Thanks for message. I have family in the uk. but not enough money just to get on a plane with the kids, i'm only working part-time here & every penny seems to go on food. I was told that if i just leave with the kids i could be arrested for child abduction, & that i need his written consent to return to uk, which he'll never give.

I've been thinking of beginning to post my stuff back to my mum, & then coming to visit asap & not returning but as i mentioned am worried about the child abduction thing & think it may be a bit devious. I have 0 support here, & thinking all this is my fault or in my head, so your comments are a great help.

tash

Hi Tash, Just got back from work and read your message. This guy is a control freak and he is controlling you and your children, you need out and need it now. I would beg borrow or steal to get the airfare back to the UK. With regards to child abduction, THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN AS WELL. Worry about that when you get back to the UK, you can get a good solicitor to advise you. Do you have all your passports? Ask your family to book the airtickets online and just print them off and get to the airport when you know he is going to be out. Forget about your possessions, they can be replaced in time, YOU and YOUR CHILDREN are the most important people. I was married for 34 years to an abuser and liar, I have just divorced him, please do yourself and your kids a favour and get out asap. I am thinking about you, Anne x

Tash

You may be depressed but you are not stupid, and you won't be feeling depressed once you have taken action to resolve this awful situation.

Of course its difficult as you are isolated, but I think you will feel much better once you are back home with your family.

If you were divorcing here, chances are you would be awarded custody of the children anyway.

Have you no savings at all that you could use to buy plane tickets?

Tash

I agree with the other posts - get out asap (business has taught me when to 'cut one's losses '- this is one of them if it were me - (I'm in senior management and have about 20 yrs experience in difficult negotiations)

we're all here thinking of you

dissapointed dad

Thanks to all of you so much, & i know you're right. & i've got some money from work due in ( i work freelance here teaching ballet) so will book tickets then, & just take what we can carry. The problem is he's works from home, & goes out alot but never planned, maybe i should buy tickets to the ice hockey! All your support is a great help.

Tash.