Hello

Hello all, I'm new here.
New Years eve my wife of five years (companion of 10) and mother of our two and a half year old boy confirmed she has been having an affair with her boss for the last three weeks, has found her soulmate and wants to divorce. A complete shock to me.
She says it is not an affair, more of a bonding with mr right. She confirmed they have been sleeping together.
She is not interested in talking it through or seeking counselling - she does not want to consider any other options. She no longer loves me, and seems to think a divorce will have very little impact on our little chap.
I am keen to see if we can work it out - am I being stupid?
It's as if she is in some sort of bubble - civil, but completely detached, and in total denial that our relationship could have any future.
Any advice on how I should behave gratefully received.
If it does go to divorce is there anything I should be doing now - ie moving out or staying?

Hi Curly

I feel very sorry for you. Similar thing happened to me in summer of 2007. Spent ages trying to rebuild the marriage but it didn't work and she is now in a relationship with the guy she had her affair with.

I have to say you are probably being unrealistic if you think you can make it work with her. My experience and those of a lot of other men on this site in similar situations is that wifes can change their perspective and just want out of the marriage. It is usually the attraction of a new man but not always!

As to what you should do, in the first instance nothing hasty! Try to stay calm, avoid rows, talk to a friend/family member, and use this site to talk to people and get information.

All the best

Steve

I am really sorry to hear what you are going through. That must be really hard, especially with your little boy so young. It does sound like your wife is totally set on her path but there is always hope, I suppose. I completely understand the 'bubble' thing, that is just how my husband is, although civil ... more odd than civil! Good luck