Been kidding myself ?

Hi All

New to this. Ignore my name in that I'm not an animal (ie agresive), just I have empathy with them !

Married 15 years (I'm 43, wife is 50),a 14 yr old daughter (she's fantastic & we are very lucky to have such an intelligent, nice daughter (yes we get some of the 'Kevin's' from her at times but shes a real good kid.)
For the last three years I have felt increasinly that we are drifting along letting life pass us by but without really being happy. I love my wife, as a friend but thats it. I dread my daughter going away with school, on holiday with friends etc because that means I have to be on my own with my wife. We have 'nothing' in common and have different interests. (Well, I have interests but she does not really so she will frown onme enjoying myself without her).
We have not had sex for over 3 years (noone else involved). We use the excuse that the cats disturb us (they sleep on the bed) but quite frankly its a convenient excuse for me.
I had , over the last couple of years been throwing myself into work (MD of a company) and put off the issue because I dont want my daughter's life upsetting - thought it better to wait until she goes to college at 18 - but we only live once and is it too selfish for me to ask if I should not be happy (I cant believe my wife is happy either) ?
You can guess I have not said anything at home- yet.
For my daughter's sake I would insist on some form of counselling etc to at least have a go (even though I think we are wasting our time).
Both my brothers divorced 2 years ago (yes, twins and divorced within weeks of each other). One had 2 late-teens daughters who went 'off the rails' over the divorce. My daughter quietly asked me one day to promise her that I would bever divorce mummy. I said I could not make that promise and she was in a state for days.
Two questions (and I would appreciate an honest critical answer to the first - not just sympathy)
1. Is there a right time as far as my daughter is concerned ? Should I stick it out for her sake or give me and my wife opportunity to build new lives now and risk the emotional effect on my daughter ?
2. Where would you recommend we go for counselling ?

Any other thoughts appreciated.

Cheers

Animal

Thre is no good time for your daughter!!

Yes I really think counselling would be a good idea, either to try and rebuild your relationship or to help you seperate with dignity. Relate does both.

Welcome to Wiki, you will find help and support in bucket loads and hopefully some good advice along the way.

animal

agree with spooky - your situation is quite similar to mine - see dd posts

no time is a good time, and if it isn't working, then do what you both (or you) want - just be careful and consider all options and consequences (most important)

keep on posting, we're here to help

dd