Hi everyone.

Just to introduce myself. Am 53 yrs old and have been seperated for 2 months now.After 35 yrs together I finally had to ask him to leave when I discovered he'd re-started an affair that started just over a year ago. We'd been working hard on our marraige (or in hindsight, I had) and I thought everything was back on track. I was even thinking about renewing our vows! I am so devastated, the last 2 months have been a very dark place but I have tremendous support from my 2 daughters, my family and my friends.I just have to believe that there is someone out there who will be right for me and that I will be happy. It's so comforting reading the other posts, so many of us in the same situation.Thankyou everyone.

Hi Flick5

Yes its a hard decision to make after being with someone for such a long time. But you will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel. It will all be worth it in the end.

I too tried to make my marriage of 23 years work but am now diovrced. It was a tough year for me 2008 and still lots to sort out but I am free of my e and that is sucha relief.

Lots of luck.

L
Molx

Hello Flick5

Just wanted to wish you well, i've been on here for a couple of days & already had lots of support & even a giggle which was unexpected. Everyone's really supportive & kind so you've found a good place.

Take care
tash,x

Hallo Flick5 and snap!

I'm 52, married 18 years but with husband for 31. Our marriage had run into trouble and when I decided I didn't want to put any more effort in when husband wasn't, I raised idea of separation - turns out he already had someone else, who he moved in with 6 months ago.

I spent the first 2 months bawling my eyes out, then I felt scarily angry and now I feel mainly indifferent. I have taken low dose anti-depressants and have also been seeing a women's counsellor weekly.

I'm also fortunate that I have very supportive friends and family, as well as this site.

I've read lots of books on getting over relationship break ups too.

The key is not to worry about meeting someone else. Its to discover who you are and like yourself. Once you think you are a lovely person, others will too! I was in a very down place a few weeks ago.

This holiday I realised how much more enjoyable Xmas is without tension and rows. I felt a load lifted off my shoulders. I've had so many compliments on how I look, how positive I am etc - the difference is just that I've stopped fretting about my ex and started thinking about me.

You will feel much better with time.

Thankyou so much for that. I know I'm jumping the gun in thinking about finding someone new but I suppose it's because I'm so used to being part of a couple that I see it as the only way I will survive this. I do realise that I have to find myself first but that's difficult as my life was so wrapped up in my husbands that I don't even know who I am. If anyone asks me what my interests and hobbies are I really don't know.Although the things he said to me as to the reason he had the affair have pushed my self esteem under the floor,I'm determined not to let him destroy me. I do look after mysel, people tell me how well I look epecially with the weight I've lost through this, the only good thing about it!
Now that the trauma of Xmas and New Year is over I'll pick myself up, brush myself off and start all over again!!

Hi Flick,

New here too, was married for nearly 33 years when I left. That was over 2 years ago, divorce absolute is due this month, I have little contact with Ex.

I knew current partner as a friend, it became more after the separation. We now live together, and are v happy. No problems, no rows, no sulks like I used to get. Just love and support. I hope you find someone too.

Stay strong, look after yourself. Pamper yourself, treat yourself. Eat what you want when you want it. Get some sleep...he's probably not agonising over you, I'm sorry hon, I know that sounds harsh. Cry if you want, but don't think that you want or need him back. You're better than that.

Deroma x

Hi Flick

I am new too... Hope you feel better soon, You have take the first step and time is a healer so dont despair!

Take care

M xx