Hi

Hi,
I'm a mum of 4 kids, 23,16,15 and 6. My marriage has been over for years, but my ex refused to leave. 8 years ago I started trying to leave him, but he froze the bank account and used his money (I don't work) to pay for a solicitor. I went to the police to try and get them to help because he physically and mentally abused the children, but the one he treated the worse was 16 and they wouldn't help unless he made a statement. Well that was never going to happen. So he never left and I had nowhere to go.
I found the strength to tell him I wanted a divorce just before Christmas last year. I knew he was having an affair but couldn't prove it. I got my proof on Christmas day last year when he got so drunk he passed out drunk on the floor of my youngest and I checked his phone.
Since then, I have just got to the stage of a Decree Nisi, I have to do the form on Monday. He nearly destroyed me over the course of this year, but I got a harrassment order served on him by the police and it does seem to have worked. I changed the sim on my phone, bought a new pc that he hadn't downloaded tracking devices onto, and got a new emaill address. Doing that, gave me a chance to get myself together, and it gave me clarity. I can now deal with him.
I have agreed the finances and visiting over and over again, but each time he turns it into an excuse to abuse me, so we have to go to court this month to get the visiting set up legally, then it's back to court for the finances. I can't afford a solicitor now, it's cost me about £3,000 so far, and I'm only just at the point of a nisi.
I'm hoping that I can get some help with things here, and hopefully I will have some experiences that can help someone else too.

x

Dear Getting Poorer,

I would suggest editing your query and addressing it to the Divorce Lawyer. She is wonderful and joins the chat most evenings plus does a Divorce legal forum each evening (I think about 6pm). You can search for her under members and send a personal message. Meanwhile (((((hug))))) and take care.


Falcon

Hi and welcome to Wiki. Have read another of your posts and also you have replied to one of mine.

Wiki has lots of support and advice to offer people.

There is also a support group for people that have suffered from Domestic Abuse which you may benefit from or maybe able to offer your experiences to others that are trying to deal with similar to you. You can access this through the Community link at the top of the main page. This is a closed forum that only members of the group can access so is a safe place to post.

I really hope that you find the support that you need.

Well done for finding the strength to leave the relationship, I know it takes courage because I have been there too.

Thank you for your comments on my post about moving away.

Take care

xx Sarah xx

Thanks guys,

I wasn't sure quite where to go to get the right advise, so thanks for that Falcon.

I'll have a look over on that thread Sarah, maybe it will help me deal with the guilt!! Good luck with the move.

x