Re: Hi

Just joined this site and thought I'd introduce myself. Have been married for 26years but myself and my husband have increasingly grown apart, we had problems about 10 years ago, he started contacting old girlfriend, said he didn't feel the same about me etc etc. thought we had got over them, but no. We did go to Relate and it all came out, husband said thought we had got married too quick and too young (we were 24 and had known eachother for about a year), said he wanted to live the single life again and have his hobbies. I know that when he started a second business which involved trips to China he made many friends - mostly young girls - who of course flattered his ego and I think he saw what he was missing. His behaviour has become increasingly erratic and I think he holds resentment towards me (but he is not violent - just distant)

I wish that he could have told me all of this without having to resort to counselling, but he finds it hard to express himself. Anyway, we have decided on separation, our house is up for sale, I will get proceeds as I don't have a job at moment, he will move with us (have two older kids in their 20's still at home) help us to settle in then hopefully buy a place nearby. I should hope divorce to follow as soon as, I am seeing a Solicitor on Wednesday to find out my options if we divorced while still in the same house until sale.

I found Christmas particularly difficult as he decided to spend Christmas with his mum and sister (about 4 hours drive away), he came back Boxing Day, this is the first time he has done this, but I tried to enjoy it with myself and two kids. I went away to my sisters over New Year, when I rang home next day to finalise details my daughter told me he had spent New Years Eve 50 miles away at a friends house! This is a man who hates parties, likes to spend time on his own.

Anyway, sorry to go on, but thought I'd just try and tell you my situation. I have seen others on the forum in similiar positions so it's good to know that I am not alone!

Hi and welcome to wiki

It's amazing isn't it how the people we thought we knew the most change.

This website is a fantastic support network for advice and if you need to rant, i know i have a few times

Pop into chat sometime, there's always someone in there willing to listen.

Hi freshbutterfly,

Well it's the oldest story in the book. You'll find a lot of folks here on Wiki have partners that have strayed. Sad but true. So you are in good (or sad) company.

It's awful when this happens. I found reading the posts on Wiki quite theraputic. There are many people out there going through relationship breakdown and only they can understand what you are going through.

Keep posting. It sure helps letting it out.

In the meantime, all the best and hope this year is better for you than the last.

Hi FreshbutterflyI am also new to Wiki and i have found it very helpful, i am already in the process of divorcing my husband after 16 years of marriage with the last 8 being a big struggle. I have finally thought of trying life on my own so i am here tooTake care

M xx

Thanks for the messages of support. I will be glad when I can get things sorted out and start again, after all I'm only in my fifties so still young and fit!! I'm also thankful that my children are grown up and that they have a good relationship with their Father.