New, just saying hello!

Hello everyone, I have just signed up to this site.

I am 33 years old, separated with 3 children age between 8 1/2 and 3 1/2. My marriage with my ex had been on the rock for 2 years already before I decided to leave, nearly 10 months ago, we had been married for 10 years. Our kids live with him in the family home, I look after them from 8.30 in the morning until 6, I do the school run, look after my little one while he is not a playgroup and go to work in the evening. It's not easy but it works fine for all of us. My ex and I have remained as friends as possible and that has rubbed off to our kids, who haven't been affected by our separation at all. My ex and I will wait for the 2 years separation period to be up to divorce.

I have recently started seen someone else too, I feel like I have finally found my soul mate and I am happy again.

Hi and welcome to wiki!

I'm happy to read at least of one family that are not ******g their kids over in the divorce process. It almost makes me wonder why you're divorcing!?

Does your husband know that you've met your soulmate? Is he OK with that!? What will happen when he wants to go out evenings etc, will you be welcome to stay over at the MH to be with the kids? Will his new girlfriend welcome seeing his ex-wife there when she comes home for a coffee???

My guess is - as amicable as it may seem at this stage; once you do start with the solicitors, legal fees and sorting the finances, it does get complicated, and that's when the trouble starts. (Many of us were amicable during the first early stages).

If your ex is the parent-with-care to three children, chances are he'll retain ownership of the marital home (or he'll retain a far greater portion of it). Where do you look after the children during the day? In your place? in the MH?

Yours is a delightful post; but I think you haven't yet started on the nasty nuts-and-bolts of divorce and financial settlement. There is plenty of advice here at wiki, and there may be a time when you'll need it.

Good luck, enjoy the site!

Sera
x

Hi Sera,

thank you for your reply. I know very well, that I am one of the lucky one as far as divorce is concerned. Why are we divorcing? We have grown apart and before things were going to get nasty I wanted to end but it took 2 years to get to that, it wasn't easy especially as I suffered of bad depression because of it. We tried very hard to keep our marriage going but ultimately it was making us both miserable and I couldn't have stayed any more, not even for the kids sake. I didn't enjoy them anymore I didn't feel like a good mum either. We are both so much happier since we have split up even though we still see each other on a daily base.

My ex knows that I have met someone else, the kids have met him too and they really aren't affected at all. As for my ex, he signed up to a dating website 5 weeks after I have moved out and he has already been seen someone else since August but their situation is more complicated as she doesn't live close to him. She has come and stayed with him for couple of days at the time but I had the kids so they haven't met her yet. Also their relationship isn't serious so it's no point for the kids to meet her unless things between them change. If my ex wants to go out, I either have the kids at mine or he gets a babysitter. The boys are with me every other weekend so we can both have a break.

My ex and I have already sorted out a Separation Agreement, the solicitor knew that nothing was going to change on it as our first priority are the kids. But because I look after the kids on a daily base, between my house and his, I would be entitled to nearly 50% of it all anyway but I haven't separated for the money so even though I will eventually get my share, until the kids live in the house I won't receive a penny.

I am sure that I will find this site very helpful indeed.
Luci x

Hi Luci

That does sound very grown up and amicable if only more where like that !! Its always good to hear of cases like yours esp as it means the children get a good deal out of it.

Hopefully more people like you will post and share your examples of working through the tough stuff a bit better than the often fraught scenarios we do hear of. Congrats on making it work for you both