Joiner

Hello. I am 43. Husband same age. with my partner 7 years, 2 months after getting married he wanted out. Appartently I forced him into it. he is now seeing a 29 yr old. he earned 4 times what I did so I did not contribute to (his) mortgage. He also paid for most of the holiday costs. (cos he wouldn't go anywhere cheap). He has hired a very intimidating partner at a very intimidating law firm. I am too nervous about money to get a solicitor yet.
We have no children,we were just about to be approved as adopters, which apparently spurred his "I want my own birth chldren" (hence 29 yrold) The person he is seeing works within the same industry as us, so working is very difficult for me at the moment.
I am heartbroken and feel my future has been erased. I am having a lot of trouble coping.

Hi Joiner

Welcome to wiki. So sorry to here what you are going through. There are so many people on here who will offer kindness and support when you are feeling low. Advice surgeries are held everyday and you can speak to a solicitor on the helpline at the top of the webpage.

If you are being hounded by a tough solicitor, perhaps speak to the above, and consider getting your own. You have rights and dont want to jeopardise them.

The solicitor will help with the practical side but emotionally things are tough. If you need to vent anger, emotions or anything come on here and reach out, people will listen.

Take care
Q

Hi Online

Very sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately this happens all to often. In my case it was my wife of 18 years going off because she wanted 'to be me'. This happened early last year

The term mid life crisis is often used to describe these type of events where one partner just goes off and wants something else. I know from experiences how hard it as the rejected partner to handle it all!

I can say that when it happened to me I felt as you do now and that my whole marriage had been a waste and that there was no future. However it is true that time is a great healer, and if you can start doing new things to start building a new future it will help you to get over it. I went to an evening class, joined a local social group, starting going to my local pub etc to make my life different and therefore easier to deal with the emptiness that my wife going left in my life. I have now met someone else who is everything my wife wasn't and she now makes me very happy.

I do still get bad days when I look back at what we had and try to work out what went wrong, but when I do that I always get the same answer and know it is pointless so I do it less and less

This is something you can get through and you will find this site very useful for both information and support. There are so many people here that have experienced what you are going through and by supporting each other we are all stronger.

Hang in there

Steve

go to the legal surgery on here DL is brilliant x

I am sure they intimidate you these sols thats how they do it they try and break you. I Know im going through the mill with them.

I am also aware of costs they try and do everything by letter that costs a fortune and an email gives the same statement at no cost.

post your financilas in Ar and someone will look after you

love seany