Seperation

Thankyou I have suggested mediation to try and sort out arrangements as I still get emotional when we talk and end up going over ground then he gets mad as wants to stick to the point. I know I should and want to too but end up needy asking why he won't try marriage counselling etc.

Think CSA will pay £51 per week i have worked out i will get about £600 benefits and i earn £500 per month, outgoings are about £900 so this leaves me £200 for food and extras (ie phone bill, bdays, christmas), was going to ask for £300 from him but don't think he'll go for this if knows £100 more than he has to pay.

Does two and half days during week and one overnight every other weekend, maybe two when he gets sorted sound fair.

catliz, hi, sounds like its difficult for you, when you mentioned speaking to him on the phone. Was he the instigator?

Sorry but when you talk about it being 'fair' regarding the times he has the kids, I think this is the wrong word to use? Fair to me would be 50% shared care, that is fair if both parents are kind caring people to the kids and there are no hidden problems. when one person has them more than the other, is that fair? Sorry but my point of view. Its about what works in your life, and everyones is different, if the guy has to work a lot of hours and the finances are stretched and he sees his kids even less, is that fair?
Conversely so if, as in some cases the woman is the earner and the guy works or earns less and he has the kids more, it affects a womans feelings a lot, so thats unfair too. At the end of the day is any divorce fair? 2 people come together, one may have nothing, when they part they are to part with equal share, is that fair? (gosh, can of worms there, but its a simplistic view to only illustrate the word)

Sorry new to all this and don't know what is correct lingo? Obviously getting the other side of the argument here.

Spoke in person when children in bed before he left the house, no I was the one trying to talk and he said no he had plans, but did stay a while, have got an appointment with financial advisor re: mortgage as don't feel the house is truly mine while he still has name on it, but I don't understand how to do it, do you agree to the equatity in the house at this time been split (which will not be much at this time) and him getting his share when we finally sell, children 18 etc??

God this is all so bloody complicated!!