New to the Site

Hi Everyone

First post on here, I have been reading through some of the stuff and it seems like a very supportive place to be. Think I may need that.

About me. Michelle, 43 married to David for 5 years. Two daughters aged 7 and 4. Found out just before Christmas that he had been cheating on me with several other women over the last year and told him it was over and he had to go.

Just trying to work my way through the maze of how to agree financial terms. He hasn't worked much since a serious illness 6 years ago, house is in my name because he has no credit rating. I want to stay put and obviously want him to go with as little as possible. I work part time but only earn £7000 per year and am topped up with tax credits which will stay the same when he leaves. He gets £35 per week Disability Living Allowance plus £10 training allowance because he attends a residential training college for disabled people which was organised by the jobcentre.

It seems like there is so much stuff to take into consideration and I just want it all to be over and done with so that I can get on with whatever the future holds.

It's been really useful to read some of the other posts and to know that there are others going through the same thing.

Hallo Michelle and welcome

Your husband will probably be entitled to a share of the equity in your home even though his name isn't on the deeds/mortgage, but the overriding concern will be housing your children.

Others here are better are advising on the financial side.

Emotionally it will be a turbulent time for you. I have been separated from my husband for 7 months and am not even contemplating divorce proceedings yet, just trying to sort myself out and adjust to life alone.

I managed to keep my house and give my stbx no equity out of it after his affair because it had always been in my name until 5 months before I caught him in his latest affair, although at that time I had paid off a lot of his debt out of my sole house equity, and I had a good solicitor and a good mortgage adviser - I'd recommend contacting your Building Society ASAP. My ex had never contributed to the mortgage financially as he had been a student or redundant for nearly half of our almost 11 year marriage. You may find this helps you - I hope so!

Good luck and stay strong - I know the devastation you feel from the betrayal but I promise - 7 months down the line it does hurt slightly less, or at least the pain becomes livable with. You will get through this - I and many others are one step ahead and are living proof you will make it!