I am so isolated

During my 18 year marriage I got to a position where I had lost contact will all my friends and family. I am now living 200 miles away from my home. I know nobody. I have not spoken to a human being outside of work for over a week. I do not know how to make friends. I tried an evening class but just sat in silence.I do not have the skills or confidence to do anything about it. Any ideas or do I spend the rest of my life sat in this awful rented room crying for what I once had? an unhappy marriage is better than this.

Hi

I had 11 yrs of a mostly unhappy, isolated, violent, controlling marriage, since i have split with him 3.5 yrs ago i have changed so much from a timid mouse to a woman whose confidence is growing by the week.Why not come into chat and speak with some of us , we all friendly in there and put your name down for the social events you'll soon have friends in the same boat as you , and you'll get out and about more.

I have found evening classes are full of weirdos lol, I found what works really well for self esteem and new friendships is something a little more interactive, like sailing, scuba diving, or if you are not near the sea start going to see live bands play, if you follow a favourite band you hook up with the same people, if you do something where you are sharing the experience with others, friendships will develop, the more challenging the activity the more bonding will result.
another option is to take time out to do some volountary work.
Best wishes,
Skipper

Hi
How long have you been on your own? It is really tough, I am not very sociable and am quiet and shy in new situations so like you feel that if I joined a group I would sit in silence. If it was an evening class in something you were interested in I would say keep going, it takes time to get to know people. I decided that when picking up the children from school I would make an effort to say hello to the mums in my boys class when waiting outside the school gates......people are becoming more friendly and I have struck up a few conversations with people which is a big step for me!! I have been to the cinema on my own, swimming etc. as even alone it helps to get out. I have no local friends and it is hard but my new years resolution is to make more of an effort as it won't just happen on its own.
Keep posting on here, they seem a friendly bunch!!

Hi Hartir,


We all go through this inital phase, it takes time. I too went through this and now like angel have gained much more confidence.Join the chat room make loads of new friend and you can have a good chat with us all ....I just joined a couple of day ago and now hooked!

Cisco

Thank you for the suggestions. i will try and summon up the nerve to join the chat room. We separated in August. I did a 10 week evening class but could not think of anything to say to anyone.I have never been good at striking up conversations and although i hate it i find solitude easier to cope with day to day even though i fill my solitude with wanting to connect with people. I know it sounds stupid and it is but when faced with an actual person my brain just seizes up.

Hi Hartir

I am a lot like you and didn't know where to begin once my husband left, not a friend in sight save for one who shyed away from my traumatic situation.

I came on to wiki and nervously went into chat, thinking what am I doing this is not something I would do? People said 'hello' and I was told to just 'jump in if I wanted to' to chat, or I could 'just observe/listen to what goes on in chat'.

People in chat are so supportive as they are all going through the heartache and associated dilemas. Chat is there to get support, share if you want to, have fun or just talk about many and varied topics. It is a true social circle. The difference is you input and take out as much or as little as you want, it is unconditional and non judgemental. It was a really good begining to me to rebuild my social skills too, ready to face the world again.

Welcome to wiki and I hope that things start looking up for you soon, may see you in chat.

Take care