Introducing Myself

nmj

I send you a virtual ((((hug))). I think most of us thought we could trust our spouse too.
Please don't think about all your effort as a waste of time - you know that you have done everything possible to make your marriage work. He has failed and taken the easy option. At least you will always know that you did everything that you could.
I hope that you feel ready to start to move on soon - it will take time and you will have your good days and bad days, but you will get there
x

I try and tell myself that ... I just feel like I'm in limbo as it's coincided with my job going which I've been doing for about the same length of time as we were together. Doesn't help with the feelings of low self-worth when you feel neither he or the job you did were worth all the effort ... I am really trying to stay positive, but as you say, I have good and bad days and I did get some counselling but far harder and taking far longer than I ever thought it would xxx thanks for the hug.

As with many others here my STBX lied through his teeth and convinced me he was having some kind of mid-life crisis rather than affair(s). You will be going through the mill - it is hard to face up to the systematic build up of betrayal and lies. The whole future you thought you would share is gone.

The think with adultery as opposed to any other is that, according to my solicitor, it is quicker and easier than Unreasonable Behaviour therefore better for you and for retaining civility - having said which as another poster mentioned having a child with someone other than you would be Unreasonable and therefore you'd prove that quite easily!

Make sure that you take time out to look after yourself honey and good luck x