seperating

hi everyone, new to site and after 23 years together my wife seperated from me last week, i basically got what i deserved from an affair several years ago,but since then the issue was never sorted properly and now turn of the new year and she has just cut off from me no emotion when she said she doesnt love me any more, i still love my wife( some might doubt this, but you have to know full storey) ive been to hell and back this week, cant cope with life,have two wonderful boyz, she just wants me out of her life fast as posible, 100% trust worthy girl but all this beeen festering for so long no way back for sure, she just hates me, very scary at mo cause i cant do or say anything as it just pushes her away, will we have to get divorced or only if it looks like getting messy. sorry for long intro but i am so dead with hurt all i can do is watch her go and get new man for her life, thanks for patience . john

Hi tom and welcome to wiki

Hmm i'm not going to beat you up about an affair you had several years ago, thats not what you need right now.

Did you seek councilling in the time between the affair and now? If not do you think it could be a possibility now?

I can understand how your wife feels, my husband cheated on me, i wanted him back but i can see now that it would never have worked, the trust and the special bond i thought we had was lost.

The pain of being rejected by someone you love is terrible. It's all consuming, you can't function or think of anything else. You are grieving for your lost life together. Now is the time to try to be strong for your children but also to think of yourself. You need to eat if you can, sleep when you can and you need your friends and family to lean on. Don't be hard on yourself, whats done is done and you can't change the past. Don't feel weak for feeling so bad, it's natural, ask anyone on here and we've all felt the same.

This site is a fantastic support network, if you want to rant or want advice there's always someone to listen. Call into chat, you can join in as much as you want or not at all.

Finaly it does get better with time, it doesn't seem it now but it does

Dawn x

there will be a long hard road if you want to return to a relationship that broke down to trust issues as when that has gone your tuly in for a racky road.

arguments can be ressolved but trust takes a long time to build and if your marriage was not worth sacrificing an affair for i doubt you would be able to get through it

seany