First Appointment on Monday

WELL I WISH i HAD FOUND THIS SITE SOONER ,AS I AM SURE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT HELP TO ME , BUT AS THEY SAY BETTER LATE THAN NEVER' MY X WALKED OUT JUST UNDER 2 YRS AGO AFTER 20 YRS OF MARRIAGE . IT HAS BEEN A LONG AND LONELY JOURNEY . AT LONG LAST THINGS ARE MOVNG FORWARD . i AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY WHEN I CAN COME HOME FROM WORK AND OPEN MY FRONT DOOR AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE SOLICITORS LETTERS WAITING FOR ME . MY LIFE HAS REVOLVED AROUND MEETING DEADLINES AND LOOKING FOR INFORMATION. i AM EMOTIONALLY TIRED NEVER FELT SO EXHAUSTED. SO IF ANYONE HAS ANY ADVICE FOR ME REGARDING WHAT TO EXPECT AT THE FIRST APPOINTMENT I WOULD BE GRATEFUL.I LOOK FORWARD TO THE FEEDBACK .THANKS

Hi

I take it you mean the first appointment of your finacial proceedings?

If so...

If all the information is available, the judge will use it as a financial dispute resolution hearing, which is a judge led negotiation to try and help you settle the case. The judge gives an indication of what he thinks should happen, and you all go outside to talk about it. If there are any sticking points the judge will help you with them and give a view. If this doesnt happen at your first apoointment, this is the next hearing in line.

If all the information is not available, the judge decides what the court would need to enable it to make a decision and makes orders as to when he wants it. He then sets a date for the financial dispute resolution hearing.

Amanda

Hi, my sympathies and good luck. We too have first appointment next Wednesday and like you wish I had found this site sooner, especially for the forms required prior to first hearing. Having said that, comparing what we have done to what has been produced by petitioner's solicitor, I am very pleased.

I am lucky in that I am 'secretary' for someone who is representing himself - no personal involvement - got involved as he was refused legal aid. Absolutely exhausting and I just wish people would be fair and honest, even the solicitors!! Trawling the internet for info. almost 24-7!

Any feedback on completion of Ancillary Relief form - do we have to do one, when should it be filed, and as self-representing, what kind of costs can be claimed?

Many thanks.

Kind regards.

Browngirl

Hiya

try this thread

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...Reppers-H1-Form.html

HTH

poppy

Hi brown girl
many thanks for your response
. I also sympathise with you . my x is a solicitor therefore I decided not to self represent , my solicitor decided it was in my best interests to have a barrister represent me at the first appointment last monday . it went ok but unfortunately my x is very obstinate ' he was really awkward so I was glad that the barrister was there . My x was not open to realistic negotiations .I think he may be buying time as he didn't have a barrister representing him . His questionnaire was asking such petty questions , we objected and the judge luckily agreed with us . I was pleased with my form E as when we exchanged it was obvious my x hadn't paid much attention to detail and he has to produce a lot more documents . I have very little to do to answer the questionnaire my x has compiled , so all the hard work has paid off I hope !!!!Yes youu are right lies come out and I have decided that honesty is the best policy
My solicitor asked me to complete a comprhenslve monthly expenditure schedule and this covers everything if would like to know more about it let me know . She also asked me to get house particulars as tothe area I would like to live . I wish i had gone to get a mortgage quote before I went as this may have progressed the negotiations . I am now going to the building society on Mon for a quote .
.I hope you are taking someone with you my friend came with me and luckily she has a fantastic sense of humour .... she kept me sane . we then went out and had lunch . So brown girl head up high and smile just to show on the exterior you are not phased by it all ,and you are still around and surviving . I wore something comfortable and smart , nothing over the top and I felt good .So good luck for Wed and if i can be of further asssistance please ask . Good luck
getting there

Hi GT

Had our first FDR today & all I'll say is it was much more 'clinical' than I expected... but I got through it & you will do to.

Got there an hour beforehand to consult with our respective sols who then went before judge with our starting points for his 'directions'. Sols came back to su, went to & fro between each other, back to us until we'd pretty much negotiated a compromise.

Then we all went in before the judge. at which point the solicitors today did all the talking so don't worry on that side either. No big courtroom more like a simple meeting room
with me & sol one side, stbx & his on other with judge at end.

What does help, I think, is being clear before hand about what you want to achieve - your starting point, other half's & where you're going to be happy to compromise. It was all about the £s - past behaviour etc didn't play a part. The end point was the judge being satisfied that we had adequate resources to move on & set up new homes & providing for our son. He pushed us to draw up a 'Heads of Agreement' before we left, sign it & it went back to him to be filed.

So be strong, hang on in there & take lots of deep breaths when you feeling the tears coming... It will be over before you know it. Is worth remembering that having to take things further will cost. Judge reminded us of this. Thinking of you & hoping all will go well x