Advice please

Hi Everyone...new here. I am unhappily married with 2 handsome boys ages 10 and 14. We have been married for 11 years and we bought a house 3 years ago. I caught him cheating on me almost 2 yrs. ago this coming Father's Day and I haven't been able to tell him that I love him since. I don't want him to touch me, could care less if he's near me, but we have kids and I am afraid of hurting them if I leave. I have never been on my on and the thought scares me but I want to be happy. My question is if I leave him, can he get me for abandonment? What happens with the house of which I am a co-signer, being that we still have a mortgage? I need all the advice that I can get.

Hi Look

Welcome to Wiki. Sorry to hear about your situation. I know how painful it is to be cheated on so I feel for you. You will get a load of support and advice here so use the site as much as you can. Remember if you post a question and don't get an answe just repost as sometimes postings get missed at busy times.

Have you tried talking to your husband and seeing if there is any scope to repair the marriage? Perhaps counselling might help?

If you decide that the marriage can't be saved then you have the option of leaving, or you could ask him to leave, or you could divorce whilst still living together, which is not ideal but is sometimes necessary due to financial constraints.

If you leave the marital home where would you go? I assume you would want your boys to live with you? Could you afford to buy or rent a place big enough for this? Bear in mind that your husband would have to pay you child maintenance of 20% of his next salary, but this reduces if he has the children stopping with him. You can get details of child maintenance on the CSA web site.

To get more detailed advice you should post some more information, there is a list of the information you should supply that is quite easy to find.

All the best

Steve

Hi there and welcome to wiki,
First question: have you and your husband tried counselling? Seems to me you need help and support to move on after his infidelity. First, talk to your husband, try to communicate your feelings to him, but if your anger and resentment have been brewing for two years, help from an outsider could be invaluable in getting you two talking again.
If you then decide your marriage cannot be saved, you'll be able to get loadsa answers and support here from all us wikipeeps.
Good luck, hun.
Sprite x

Thx for the reply. Yes we have tried counseling and it didn't help us. I feel as if I'm only here for my kids. I want them to have parents whom are together but it keeps getting harder and harder being that I'm unhappy. I feel he's unhappy too being that I don't show him any affection or concern. Just not sure where to start the process. Don't want to hurt anyone although its killing me on the inside to be here.

Hi there hun

Welcome to Wiki.

Please use the place for emotional support, but please do not take legal advice from the boards..... this is a UK site and it would not be relevant to you as it is UK law.

Amanda