Why is it not all over???

Hi

and i recieve abusive, unhinged phonecalls when visitation is being organised

My stbx did this.

It is easy to deal with. You say (as you would to a child) - if you do that again I'll put the phone down. And when he does, which he will, you just put the phone down. When he rings straight back, which he will to arrange contact, you carry on the conversation normally as if it never happened. When the abuse starts again you give one warning and then if need be put the phone down.

He needs to speak to you on the phone to arrange contact. He will learn very quickly how to speak nicely.

This isn't about slamming the phone down when you don't get your own way - it's about instilling courtesy.

HTH

poppy

Ps Your son will not believe you are a 'bad mother,' because he knows you - he will just learn that dad is grumpy