Why is it not all over???

Hi all,
I have been separated from my ex-husband for 2 yrs and divorced for 7 months. Thought for some naive reason that it would all be over once the divorce was through but not so lucky!!
We have a 3yr old son who is very much loved but when it comes to being civil to one another my ex can not hold his tongue.
I am constantly called a "bad mother" in front of my son on the doorstep of our house (by my ex & his family) and i recieve abusive, unhinged phonecalls when visitation is being organised.
My ex is away alot due to his job (6 months at a time) which i understand but he also goes away on holidays for 3 months so being away from our son for roughly most the year.
We have no court order in place but we did make arrangements through a CAFCAS officer. The agreement made was everyother wknd contact whilst my ex was back from engagements and some longer contact in the summer etc if possible. Phonecalls were also arranged weekly when my ex is away to create a continuity for my son. I have stuck to the agreement but am really suffering from the abuse (depression, not coping day 2 day).
Since all the abuse towards me has been ongoing for 2 yrs now i don't know where i stand to question this agreement.
Can anyone shed some light on this situation for me because i have lost all patience with my ex and don't know what to try next!!

Tell him that you are happy for contact to arrange visits etc but any insults, abuse etc will be logged and reported to the police unless he desists.

I get more and more amazed on this site

i just hope he comes to his senses soon this must be very hurtfull for you can you try a contact book or something like that do you live near your parents so he can pick them up from there

love s

This is not good or fair on the child or you. Advise him that you will be seeking supervised handover re contact if he continues. Indeed why not seek handover assistance from the relevant authorities.

Elle x

Hi,
I do live near my parents and they have offered handover contact but my ex isn't to happy about this idea so i have held off hoping things would get better but i think the time has come to enroll some help!!
I am also obviously afraid of the abuse that might be afflicted on my parents but i have discussed this with them today and there relieved i've asked for their help. I'm lucky to have them!!
Just gotta wait and see how this idea goes down with the ex!?
Thankyou for your help

Sorry he is behaving like this. Try to stay calm when talking to him. State the facts that he is abusive to you each time he calls, it is not fair on you or your child so from now on he has to collect your son from your parents (or whatever the arrangement is). It is not his choice. I hope it works out better for you and that your parents don't get hassle off him x

Hi Sounds to me like the only reason he's not happy about going through your parents is because he knows he can't abuse you personally in front of your son. Also try not to rise to the bait every time you're just playing into his hands, easier said than done I know, been there myself many times but on boy the sense of achievement when you don't let it get to you and you know you've really rattled their cage. Take your parents help they wouldn't offer if they didn't love you and want the best for you. good luck M