hello

hello, just found this site so if mixed up im sorry.
im 45 and started divorce proceedings last march.have 5 kids but only 1 young enough for this to affect her.was married for 22 years and suffered physical,mental,and emotional abuse from the start.
ex hasnt had contact for 17 months as 'he has a life and new woman'.in january he decided he wants contact so have child welfare hearing this coming wednesday. my darling daughter has now started wetting herself during the day and bedwetting at night.she is as scared of him as i am.
i moved over 300 miles to get away and he is making the excuse that this is the reason why he doesnt have contact.i only moved here 5 months ago.
hes had contact in the past.50-50 shared care but this didnt suit him so it was dropped to 3 then 2 then 1 night a week then 2 hours per week then nothing.
he doesnt want to pay maintance so have that hearing 26 march.my daughter is 8 and really confused as i am.

hi there,

just wanted to say hello.
i'm not one of the legal eagles that you will hear from, but i do empathise whith what you are going through.
my stbx left for his new life with a new woman in november and the contact with his children has been dwindling since day one. I too suffered mental and physical abuse from my ex.

It is a really hard time for your child and you too.
All i can say really is keep your chin up, try to keep on top of the legal side of things, ie hearings etc. And just keep showing your daughter as much love as you obviously do, and she will come right in the end.

you dont say if he is working or not, but if he is hen he cant choose whether to pay maintaninance or not. He just has to, and the court hearings will sort that out.

My heart goes out to you and your youngest and the rest of your family too. Good luck and keep asking questions, posting new threads, there are plenty of clever people on this site that can help you.

best wishes

Chelle

hello, thanks for that, yes hes working but states on the court papers he cant afford any payment for our daughter nor any finincial settlement. he has a pension from his work,has paid into it for 23 years.needs his money for his new wife to be and hopefully his new family that they are trying for.

I`m no expert but i think he will find that it`s not up to him what he wants to do with his money, he will have to pay a percentage of his earnings to support his dependant child, regardless of any other outgoings he has created. Sorry to hear about your situation, take care and good luck