Hi all

Hi All

Where do I start, been married 13 1/2 years been together nearly 17, 2 daughters 14 and 7.

My stbx started to change from the man I married about 5 years ago then 2 1/2 years ago after endless arguements of where all the money he was earning was going he finally admitted he was taking drugs, told me it had stopped things would get a bit better for a while but then the excuses of where the money had gone started again anyway to cut a long story short it seems he never did stop and started drinking more as well, as he was working away from home sometimes for 3 weeks at a time I didn't realise how bad his drinking had got until he lost yet another job probably because of his balshy attitude and his alcohol problem.

When he stopped working away about August last year I started to notice he was drinking during the day as well it was always I've only had a couple as though there was nothing wrong with it even though I'd been at work all day and picked kids up and taken them to there clubs. Every time I asked him to leave it would always be its my house as well get the Police if you want me out or kill me that way the house will be paid for get rid of me for good.

Anyway 4 weeks ago he passed out on the bed with his mobile in his hand and i'd suspected there was someone else as he'd been staying out and making excuses to go somewhere anywhere, so I checked his phone and there was the evidence texts to the womans son about how he misses her all the time but if he goes now he can't come back so I threw him out only to take him back the day after as he was due some money that week and I needed it as bills were mounting up, anyway the money came in and I gave him his agreed amount but that went near enough straight away and then on the Friday I found him at the womans house - I got the house keys off him and that's it hes not been back since only to collect some of his clothes I won't let him take everything as he still owes me money.

Sorry to go on so much but I feel it helps me to talk about it, I've cried alot not for loosing him as he is now but for the man I married and for what a fool I've been for so long but I always believed you worked at a marriage and god knows I've worked at it I didn't want the girls growing up in a broken home but they seem relieved especially the eldest she doesn't want to see him, the youngest is seeing him but on my terms I won't let him drive her anywhere I drop her off at whichever venue and pick her up but this has only been once a week for 30 mins - 1.5 hours and he doesn't ask how they are whenever I have to speak to him still the selfish sod he's been for the last 5 years.

Well i'd better stop now or you'll all be falling asleep i've been reading through your stories and they've brought me alot of strength over these last few weeks so thanks to you all.

Dear used09,
Welcome to wiki, you'll find lots of support, advice and help here.
You are in a very sad situation, hbut as you said here on wiki we are all in the same boat to some extent and there's a lot of strength to be had from the luvly people here.
So, stay strong for yr kids, and decide what you want for you nad the kids in your life and how you are going to do that.
Wishing you good luck and happier days.
Hugs x