Hello and help!

Hello,

I'v been readingthis forum for a few days and thought I'd sign up. My name's Ed, I'm 31 and about to file for divorce from my 33 year old wife. We have a 13 month old son.

My wife has suffered chronic pre and post natal depression resulting in a spell in a psychiatric hospital late last year. Thankfully she is on the mend now with the right drugs and therapy and has developed into a strong person.

But the above has left our relationship in tatters. There were cracks before but the whole thing has now broken down and we have both agreed it is best to divorce.

We are still very amicable, still live under the same roof and, at the moment, my wife is being fair. We plan to sell our house and divide the equity 50:50 as we have both contributed similar amounts over the years. I will then pay all the rent on my wife's new home (about £600) plus an additional £400 towards childcare. So I'm looking at handing over £1k a month. I am "happy" (not the right word, but you know what I mean) to do this as it means my son will be comfortable and at the moment it is affordable.

From the details I have given, does this sounds like a sensible starting point. My salary is £65k and my wife's is £24k.

I'm going to see a divorce solicitior soon but wanted to get some initial thoughts from the board. Am I being reasonable or am I going to have to hand over even more?

Thanks so much for reading.

Ed

Hi Ed

I think it is great that you are able to keep things amicable.

What you suggest sounds reasonable to me. The CSA level for child maintenance would be 15% of your net salary, which I am guessing is about £3500 so you are slightly below on the childcare element, but then you are proposing to pay £600 spousal maintenance.

You should also get your wife to look into the tax credits that she could claim, as if she is working more than 16 hours a week, it is quite likely that she will be entitled to tax credits.

The one thing that strikes me is that your net income will end up being about £2500 per month after you have paid the £1K to your wife. Her income will be her net salary of I am guessing about £1700, plus tax credits (probably about £300), plus the £1000 from you, plus child benefit so probably just over £3000 per month, then she will have to pay childcare costs, but will probably have the lions share of contact with your son.

S

hi eddy 123, read through your post. my husband and I have also seperated amicably if there is such a thing in the long term.

it seems you are being very fair but maybe too fair. How much equity are we talking. Does your wife work. If she doesnt then the rent would be paid for her by housing benefit unless of course she has over £16k in equity. its up to you how much you give her but if as in our case it is amicable surely you shouldnt end up with far less than her. just make sure that you arent coming off worse.

Thanks for the comments. The house was, a year ago, worth around £500k and the mortgage is £292k. Clearly when it goes on the market next month it's gonna be for a quick sale - I think it will sell at around £400k - £425 leaving about £100k - £125k equity split 50:50. So more than the £16k threshold = no tax credit.

The reason I am suggesting handing over so much each month is that my son is only 13 months old and in full time private nursery which costs £890 a month. I would expect my contribution to my wife to drop in due course as his nursery fees drop by £200 when he reaches 2 and once he is of schooling age, there will be no fees. So, I would want my settlement to be stepped with his age. Ultimately I would want to get to the point when he is 4 years old where I pay the CSA 15% amount plus a bit (say £600 a month all in total). I think that is more than fair. After all we have only been married 4 years (aged 32 and 33).

I just hope it stays amicable. WE're doing OK so far - in fact we're getting on better now than we have for months!

Thanks for your comments,

Ed

HI ED,

Its great your being amicable are you sure its a divorce you both want. Have uyou tried relate or other options. Just make sure you exhaust all avenues before making any concrete decisions

Divorce is extremely difficult even if a short marriage as you have a child involved and you will always have differences to negotiate

good luck

Osprey

ed

pm me - i'm going through a very similar thing in terms of variables

dd