Hello every1 - It's all about the ex

Hi every1,
I'm new to this website, thought i'd pop on, say hello and share my story. I'm the partner of some1 going through a divorce. They have been seperated for over 2yrs now. He has constantly been financially supportive (Infact extremely generous). For more than a yr (maybe nearer to 2?) he paid all house hold bills, mortgage payments, gave cash payments to her weekly and provided extra financial support when requested.

During the last 6- 12 mths he has slowly made her take responsibility for the domestic bills(she gets working tax credits, single parent benefits, child benefit and a £150 weekly for my partner)and he has been continuing to pay the mortgage.
Last September she moved her boyfriend in to what was the family home but has been denying it constantly until recently when she pretty much admitted he is living there.She has incinuated that her boyfriend is paying the bills which then makes me wonder what she does with any of the money my partner gives her????
My partner is about to be made redundant, to which she has gone mental stating he is being unreasonable. Like he chose to be made redundant??? The redundancy is out of his hands, he is gutted about it, as he has always worked.

There are children involved but they are not tiny children therefor there is nothing to stop her going to work, many woman (including myself do) she just says what will the children do in the holidays or after school ? Well they will do what hundreds of other working parents children do and go to school /holiday clubs surely ?
Just how long did she really feel that my partner would continue to pay for her and her boyfriends home?

Some people just dont know when they have it easy! My partner is a lovely timid man who is completely being fleesed and walked all over. I feel helpless....

Well at least it sounds like you have found yourself a lovely bloke who takes his responsibilities seriously - although clearly the ex is taking full advantage of this. She will just have to get used to the idea that he cannot continue to support her as he has done previously and that she might just (gasp) have to go to work.

You don't say how old the children are, but I'm also surprised at how often school hours are used as an excuse not to go back to work, or when mothers don't want to put their children in nursery before that. I've worked since my daughter was a year old (stbx has never contributed financially) and it's actually been very positive for us both.

Nobody wants their lifestyle to have to change when divorce happens but I do think some women use children as a bit of an excuse to make sure it's not them having to do any of the compromising. In the long run, it's those sorts of people who end up unhappy though.

And don't feel helpless - you can't control the ex but you are obviously being really supportive to your partner and that will mean a lot.

Best of luck with it all!

Hi gunner.
Your guy needs to get started on the ancillary relief(financials)ready for when the nisi is granted.
This will pull the rug out from under her.
Her housing needs are met & she is living with another partner, so she shouldn't get spousal maintainance money from your guy

HHmm!and she still claims single person benefits? Different issue
She is lucky to have a new partner - lots of women find that on divorce they are left with children & have to go to work without the luxury of a second adult to help out.

Your partners only concern now should be arranging the contact & financial provision he will be making towards the children of the marriage.