Ok, here it goes.
I am a 27-year-old man living in Southern California. I enlisted in the USMC in 1999 at 17 years old, but after a few years had to leave due to a medical issue. I spent around 3 years out and during that time met and married my wife. Before we were married, I informed her that I would be returning to active duty as soon as my medical issue was resolved, and she agreed. (I was 19 at the time.) After we were married, I found out that she has Trichotillomania (a compulsion to pull out your hair) and sever Obsessive Compulsion Disorder, but we worked through it, and I loved her anyway. These issues are daily obstacles for me to handle, but I do my best.
In the beginning, I was somewhat jealous and possessive (I was an immature kid at the time...) and we fought allot during those first few years. She threatened to leave me numerous times, and each time I begged her to stay. I grew up and tried to make amends for my prior actions, but to this day she still holds those mistakes against me.
At 22 I fully resolved my medical issues and re-enlisted in the Marines. After I had signed the papers, my wife informed me that she was furious that I had re-enlisted and despite the fact that I had spoken of nothing else for the last few years, she claims to have thought it to merely be pipe dream that would never come to pass. At this time, she had a mediocre job as a secretary and was failing at college. She agreed to come with me to California and start over, and when we moved got another secretarial job that led to a middle management position within a few months. She still HATED the Corps and told me so daily. I changed jobs within the Marine Corps and while in school, my wife informed me that her company was starting to downsize as they had lost her account and she was worried about her job.
I received word shortly after that I was to be stationed in Okinawa, Japan for a period of three years if she wanted to come with me, or two years if she did not. I was given 1 hour to decide, and called her. She decided to come with me, but was again furious that the Corps was deciding where we would live. We moved to Okinawa, and during this time she could not work, as we were in a foreign country that did not speak English. She refused to attend college, as it was not a "major university". During this time, I was deployed frequently due to my job but spent what time I could with her. While in Japan, we STILL fought allot, and she continued to Bash the Marine Corps. After our three-year tour was over, we fought for the entire flight home (26 hours) and when we arrived, she stated that she was leaving me. (It was the first time in years that she had said that)
We decided to work it out again, but over the next few months we still fought like cats and dogs. I went to another school and afterwards deployed again to Iraq. She did not get a job as she had decided to go back to school. I spent a year in Iraq and returned to more fighting at home then I had seen on the battlefield. When I got back, I discovered that she had gained 40 pounds and her OCD and TTM had gotten allot worse, she had been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and Manic Depression, and had failed out of school (again). I bought myself an English bulldog puppy for surviving Iraq, (She already had her dog for the last year) and during the course of this last year, I have had a great time with him. After asking why she had been avoiding the children question for the last few years, she stated that she did not want and would never want kids, although I do and will not entertain the idea. Our sex life over the previous few years has been bad, but when I got back this last time, it has become non-existent. I injured myself in July while doing some training for an upcoming deployment, and had to have surgery. The day after the surgery, she told me that she thought it would be a good idea if we divorced. This time I agreed. She laid a serious trip on me about how she did not have a career or an education (although she had ample time to achieve both, but choose not to) and was angry with ME as I was secure in my career and our economy is currently in the toilet. I sat down and agreed to give her 1200 a month for alimony for 4 years. (An ENORMOUS amount for me since it is roughly 1/3rd of my total income. I am an E-6 so I do not make tons of money) I also said that she could have everything except my clothes, my 70 inch LCD TV (She gets the 45 inch in the bedroom) and my new 2009 Accord, (She couldn’t afford the payments), and my English bulldog, Bacon. (She has her French bulldog Tate) I also agreed to help her get a new vehicle (she wrecked hers a few months ago, and we have not gotten her a new one yet because I am about to deploy and will not be using mine) She went back to Texas to look for an apartment and attend her sisters wedding and the day she returned, I had to go on a business trip to D.C.
When I returned, she said that she had decided to stay and I had no choice in the matter, and that I was stuck with her. The next day she said that she HATED my dog and I had to choose between her and my dog. (Totally out of the blue) She said that she had been holding it in for the last year, but had finally had enough of him. I am due to deploy (again) in a few weeks, and I have someone that is going to watch him while I am deployed, but she keeps pressing for me to give him away for good. She is upset that I did not find him a permanent home and says that her therapist and shrink say that I am being unrealistic, and should give the dog away. She is now blaming all of her problems on my 1-year-old puppy, and refuses to allow him out of his crate unless I fight with her about it. Her major issue with him is that he “makes too many messes”. Now, she is mad at me because I seem "distant". I am an attractive successful physically fit man in my late 20's. I love my dog, and besides my car and TV he is the only thing that I said that I wanted out of the divorce. (As cheesy as it sounds, he is my best friend, and I really don’t want to give him up) I think that this relationship is eventually doomed, but I don’t know what to do. Should I give the dog away and stay in the relationship, send him to a friend and wait to tell her to pack it up until I get back, or just tell her that its over? This deployment will kill our debt, and we could leave in better situations if I wait, not to mention the fact that I cannot legally divorce until I return from Iraq, but she is driving me INSANE. What are your opinions? Thanks for the help....
