What to do with this man and the kids

Hi,
I have been married for 24 years and let's put it alot of have been a hell. I was coerced into a marrying a guy who is not only hot-tempered,impatient, but has no manner of any kind, who only thinks about himself. He abused me in every sense-sexually, physically, verbally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.
Produced 4 children along the way, he refused to get the vestecomy done. Refused counseling all along the way, he does not communicate at all on the subject of discomfort-such as our sex life, not having anymore kids, kids' behaviors, our relationship.... He only likes to be flattered that he is the greatest, of course I canot do that. Because he is such a wimp not only physically, but psychology, and in bed as well. I think his male hormon level is low. Some of my friends said he acts like a girl, which I agreed, especially in th beginning of the marriage. All I can say is that he is one selfish, not a manly, bullheaded guy who is incapable of showing love to his wife. I think it was never WE, always I from him. When I told him I met someone during a trip, and that I fell in love with him, he just plainly asked me if I going to see him again (I don't see him) That's it.
As far as the kids r concerned, older two are very disobedient to me as his father demonstrated to me. The younger ones r okay. There were many reasons I did not get divorced, initially it was because of low-esteem, he was my first guy,-he truly made me believe I was worth nothing....
Second, my parents threatened to disown me. Third, I got really sick, had to receive pretty rough treatmenst for my disease x2, which took a course of 8-9 years. Now, I realize more, I don't want him around. He is such a disrutption to my life. I am not going to say he always have been cruel, but with such an explosive temper and no deep love for me, why bother. Now, I can live without him, just want the younger kids to mold them right. The older two r just like their father, very selfish and noncommunicative..
I will probably do okay with the settlement... Is is better for me to move out from this main house? BTW, I am approaching close to 50, and haven't worked for last 20 years or so.. My health is not that great for me to go back to what I have been trained to do. What should I do? I feel so lost. I don't think I am really losing much with this so called marriage.

In a long marriage where there is abuse and disrespect it is easy to feel worthless.

BUT you have taken the first step of deciding to end it, so well done!

You could phone your local domestic violence unit to get advice, since your husband might react badly to you mentioning divorce.
They would be able to find you emergency housing or suggest ways you can get your husband to leave.

Have you thought about where the children will live? What are their ages?

Actually, after an incident last year sending me to the emergency room, cops came over and arrest him. So he is waiting for a trial. We r still residing in the same household. However, situaiton is not condusive to anyone's health, so I asked him for a divorce again as I have done so many times before. This time he is trying to divide up the asset since according to him "this is affecting him physically". So as u can see he is doing something finally because it affects him. Got a call from the proscuter that the the DA and the Porscuter going to meet tomorrow, looks like he softened his story how I got hurt. What a bastard!
He may get a misdemeaner charge and attend the angry management class or it can go to the trial, then all the dirt is going to come out as it should. Then he is going to get his license revoked, jeoparizing my future income/alimony and child support.