bad day

hi all,
an up date of what has been going on!
tonight i am feeling realy bad, the other day i found out that my wife now has her boyfriend and another friend moved into my house, she has brought them over from bulgaia, along with her mother, so now i am paying the mortgage on the house for my wife and whoever she decides lives in my house, in the meantime my sons head is getting mixed up even more, the nieghbours are up in arms that she can do this, one nieghbour phoned me today to say he has had enough of this and phoned a friend of his who is a policeman, and the police met us at my house we went to the door and asked for my things from the house, she says there is nothing, as she has sold them all, i also think she has thrown out all my personal things, photos of my kids since they where babys ect.
i have now found today on internet, that she is opening a guest house with the money i paid her before from the amicable setlement we had, but i have the feeling she has bought it in another name, i dont want the guest house she can keep it and the house i left her in the settlement, all i want is my house back, and to have my son on shared custody, but it seems she wants everything, but it seems the way the law works here in spain she will get everything:(
even though she has shafted me good and proper, she still does not seem to stop! every day it is something new, she is doing all this to me, because i wont let her take our son to live in bulgaria, and does not seem to care what my son wants, he is realy close to me, and does not want to go to bulgaria.
i realy cant live without him.

Pete,
my heart goes out to you. You really are between a rock and a hard place. Is it Spain you are in? I can only imagine the legal complications of your situation. Are there any brits among the expats there who can help you, maybe who have been through a divorce there and especially can give youadvice re. child custody?
Can't give you advice, just support like other peeps on here. Keep posting here, if nothing else for emotional support.
I wish you the best of luck in keeping your son close.
Take care, Sprite

You come across as such a nice decent man and a devoted and caring father.
Life is not fair.
Keep soldiering on, so much hope it gets easier for you,
Fade x

hi sprite, and fade to gray,
thanks for the support:)
yeh sprite you are right, the legal system is a nightmare here, i speak spanish but not great, and when it comes to legal things it can be hard to understand even if you are fluent, as i have found out to my cost!
my wife is fluent in spanish, and when i paid her the money for her half of the value of the house, we went to the notarios together, and trusted her with the translating, from what i could under stand it said the house was now in my name and i would take over the mortgage ,and would take over the payments on the car, but when i mentioned that it said nothing about me paying her money she said i did not need to as i was paying her for the house, and now i had the document giving me the house, so it made no difference as i have the proof the house is mine, like a fool i trusted her, not knowing that she could cancel the document at anytime, which she did, and not only that my lawyer says it is not worth nothing, as all it was was power of atorny letting me sell the house without her signing.
maybe someone can tell me how would the things work in the uk?
we own 1 property in bulgaria, and she has bought another in bulgaria with the money i paid her, and we own 1 house in spain, with a 100,000 mortgage does it gat taken into acount that before we met i owned my own property in the uk which i sold to help towards the deposit on the house in spain, what would the courts do about her leaving the kids for so long?
she went on holiday last january and left me with our son and stepson, she did not return for 10 weeks, she then left again in april for 3 weeks to buy the house in bulgaria, with the money i paid her, then she left for good in the end of june, leaving me with my son, returned after 4 months, went to the notarios canceled the document giving me the house then went to the police saying i shouted at her, she never claimed any violance, only arguement, but that is enough here to be removed from your house, ever since i have not been allowed to return to my house, went to court and had my name cleared, she now has her mother and boyfriend and another friend in the house, refuses to pay anything towards the mortgage, which i am still paying, does anyone know what the outcome would be in the uk?
at the moment i dont even have a court date, and divorce was lodged in october, dont even have any order giving me visits to my son, have to rely on her letting me see him, she allows me 3 hours at a time, but somtimes depending on her mood, she cuts this short, she even turned up at my door after 1.5 hours, wanting to take him, even though my son was crying she did not care.
but she is getting away with it.
sorry to go on so much, but i feel like i am going mad, and cant sleep with all the stress.

hi sprite, and fade to gray,
thanks for the support:)
yeh sprite you are right, the legal system is a nightmare here, i speak spanish but not great, and when it comes to legal things it can be hard to understand even if you are fluent, as i have found out to my cost!
my wife is fluent in spanish, and when i paid her the money for her half of the value of the house, we went to the notarios together, and trusted her with the translating, from what i could under stand it said the house was now in my name and i would take over the mortgage ,and would take over the payments on the car, but when i mentioned that it said nothing about me paying her money she said i did not need to as i was paying her for the house, and now i had the document giving me the house, so it made no difference as i have the proof the house is mine, like a fool i trusted her, not knowing that she could cancel the document at anytime, which she did, and not only that my lawyer says it is not worth nothing, as all it was was power of atorny letting me sell the house without her signing.
maybe someone can tell me how would the things work in the uk?
we own 1 property in bulgaria, and she has bought another in bulgaria with the money i paid her, and we own 1 house in spain, with a 100,000 mortgage does it gat taken into acount that before we met i owned my own property in the uk which i sold to help towards the deposit on the house in spain, what would the courts do about her leaving the kids for so long?
she went on holiday last january and left me with our son and stepson, she did not return for 10 weeks, she then left again in april for 3 weeks to buy the house in bulgaria, with the money i paid her, then she left for good in the end of june, leaving me with my son, returned after 4 months, went to the notarios canceled the document giving me the house then went to the police saying i shouted at her, she never claimed any violance, only arguement, but that is enough here to be removed from your house, ever since i have not been allowed to return to my house, went to court and had my name cleared, she now has her mother and boyfriend and another friend in the house, refuses to pay anything towards the mortgage, which i am still paying, does anyone know what the outcome would be in the uk?
at the moment i dont even have a court date, and divorce was lodged in october, dont even have any order giving me visits to my son, have to rely on her letting me see him, she allows me 3 hours at a time, but somtimes depending on her mood, she cuts this short, she even turned up at my door after 1.5 hours, wanting to take him, even though my son was crying she did not care.
but she is getting away with it.
sorry to go on so much, but i feel like i am going mad, and cant sleep with all the stress.

((Pete)) I really wish I could help, but I know nothing about the legal system in Spain, but you must get some help out therer you have no chance!
Have you tried contacting the Brtish Embassy or the consulate? Try it, maybe they can point you in the right direction.
You must look after yourself, you have a big battle ahead. Do try not to worry so much, it really doesn't help. Eat decent food, exercise and sleep. Do it for your son, he needs you to stay strong, focussed and in control.
Best, best of luckj to you.
Keep unloading here on wiki, that's what we are here for.
Hugs, x

I too can only offer you emotional support. What a nightmare, to say the least. Stay strong hun. Look after yourself because you do have a long fight ahead. I admire your love for your son. Look after yourself, lean on friends and family. Keep posting so that we can give you emotional support through this nightmare. Sending you warm thoughts and a big hug.
x