scared to take the step

Hi all,
I'm new to this site and found it whilst searching on the web. I have been thinking of divorce for a while, (years actually) but am so scared of taking the first step. I've been married for 20years, and having had an arrange marriage, most of these married years have been tearful. I have 3 children all above 16, and I've stuck it out for their sake. As young children I didn't want them to suffer, but as they are older and wiser and can see for themselves what I've put up with, they say the same thing - leave him. My husband had an affair with a neighbour about 6 years ago, and at that time I wanted to end my marriage, but my family got involved and told me to give him another chance. That was my only chance of leaving him and I didn't! The other couple divorced! So a few years on and we are still at each other's throats over one thing or another. What do i do? when I do mention leave me then he is saying I leave and go to my mums. I don't want to sell the house, but am scared if I have to.
Any suggestions out there?

Hi, I'm new to this site as well having found it whilst looking for advice about separation. If you've been thinking about it for a while then it will only get bigger and bigger until you do make the break. I too am in a similar boat but feel pretty strong at the moment about doing it. It is a very scary situation and I keep waking at night worrying, esp about my kids but try to stay focused on your goal which is to leave, take each day as it comes and talk to people, there are loads going through the same (ish) stuff so take heart from that. Best of luck x