This is long - forgive me

I have lived with a control freak for over 30 years. He always lived his own life, continued with clubs etc while I sat at home waiting. Our children are grown now, and if i'm honest, I always knew it wouldn't last after they left. The children always wanted me to leave him, insisting that he treated me and them, like sh*t.We separated 10 years ago after a particularly brutal assault which put me in hospital, but after a few years apart got back together. When we got back together there were more than a few issues. eg: All bank accounts were in his name, but all bills were in mine. I did work until 2000, but went onto incapacity benefit due to arthritis and have been unable to work since. I had no house-keeping money from him and no access to his wages. This was no partnership. I had to ask him to buy even personal items for me and our family. He ridiculed me in public. 4 years ago, he agreed that I could take £80 per week out of his account as house-keeping. He earns over £600 per week and 'we' were always short of cash. Our mortgage is at present, £161 per month, with gas, electric, council tax, mobile and car insurance taking another £280 per month, (I'm being generous here). With my initial visit to the lawyer being on DV grounds, he has been very clever. A few months ago we had a big fight. He's a black belt in martial arts and threatened me with his 'fighting stance'! After his last beating, I was afraid and called the police. He was arrested and charged with assault. He has now seen a lawyer to obtain a divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour....? He is claiming I'm a 'confirmed alcoholic'. I admit I did sign myself into rehab 10 years ago, but the doctors evaluation was depression, with my drinking to take myself out of my situation. My doctor was quite sure my all of this would change if he was out of my life. I feel betrayed. Going into rehab was the best thing I ever did for my health and my soul, but it seems it was the worst thing I did as it has given him 'proof' for his grounds of divorce. I receive £97 per week incapacity benefit, but as I have more than £10,000 locked up in a savings account I cant get legal aid and my lawyer wants £500 up front and £100 per month - because HE wants a divorce! And I cant get any money out of this account until May!
Am ferr scunnered as the saying goes!

The grounds for divorce don't matter. You will be free of him and able to rebuild your life.

The police will have a record of your complaint. I expect he is just trying to get back at you.

You say he wants a divorce, but you do too, don't you? And it sounds as though your children are on your side.

You will find plenty of support here.

Blubird,

Am more than fer scunnered at how your x has and is treasting you!

You dont need to put up with this. There is a number on the homepage for a free half hours consultation. Solicitors can ask for an upfront fee however many work on a pay as they serve basis and a few will agree t be paid with interest if there is a settlement due....so bollox to this one thats showing ferr scunnering greed and lack of compassion.

There is alot of support here, free legal one to one week day evenings with a resident barrister ....enter via chat, lots of experience and knowledge from a wide array of backgrounds....dont be alone with this....feel free to pm me if u wanna chat or offload ....dont be scunnered.....

Elle x