Wife left me on 30th Jan 2009

My wife left me on 30th Jan 2009. She had been having an affair with the husband of her sister's best friend and his wife found out. They had intended to try to keep it secret until the end of June when both parties youngest son would finish university.
She has left me in the marital home with my whippet Ruby, and I am to pay all bills until it is sold. I took early retirement in May 2008 aged 51, so she will have a claim on my pension too.
Her new partner's sons are not speaking to him and this is causing some friction. She is now talking about maybe not staying with him, but insists that she will not come back to me. She is staying with her sister and husband, while he is staying with his mother. His wife is also keen to have him back.
I have written a Separation Agreement from a template found on the internet. She has agreed 50/50 split with me getting 66.66% of my pension. She is now saying that she may need to review this if circumstances change when the house is sold.
I am hoping to avoid legal costs wherever possible and do as much as I can myself. I do not intend to petition for divorce - I'll let her do that when she is ready.
I have provided her with statements of savings accounts, but have warned that I may need to draw on these for unexpected bills.
I have insisted that the house is not sold before end of June as my youngest son is still in full-time education, in his last year at university.
Have I got a fair deal for now, and is there anything else that I should be doing?

Paul,

Welcome to Wiki. I am sorry you find yourself here but hope it will help.

My best advice to you would be do nothing and agree nothing. This is all very new and raw. You also have children to think of - and presumably they have exams coming up and possible higher education to follow.

I know it is tempting to want to sort it all out now so you can plan .. but do let the dust settle a bit ... and in the mean time come here for support and advice. Pop into chat if you need a bit of company too.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for the quick response.

My youngest child is 21 and in his last year at university. He will then be training as a solicitor, so if this drags on long enough may be able to offer some practical help

I shall take your advice and do nothing for now.

Thanks

Paul

Hi Paul

Welcome to wiki

I can't help with the practical side of things but i can totaly understand the emotional pain you must be going through.

You don't say how you are feeling at present but i'm asuming you're very up and down.

Please use this site for emotional support as well as practical, many of us on here have been the victims of affairs and as such can provide a crutch to lean on.

Keep posting and pop into chat if you need to talk, rant or just to sit and listen, you will be made very welcome.

Take care

Dawn x

Hallo and welcome Paul (and Ruby!)

I agree its best to wait a bit and see how things are. Let the dust settle a bit.

I have been separated from my husband for 7 months and only recently have I started thinking about getting divorced eventually. I was dealing with the emotional fall-out for myself and our teenage sons.