help! I need advice

Hello mezzie,

I will take your advice and look at the financial forums and tool link, I`m just trying to find my way around the site at the moment.

Thank you for you tips on reducing the contact etc..
You were SO right when you said it like being in limbo!

My husband left in November and returned a few weeks ago , he stayed with friends and rented a house briefly for a month.
The house is in joint names and I have not petitioned for divorce yet, I think I better had don't your otherwise this will go on a lot longer, I`m just scared and not feeling great at the moment.

Thank you for your advice and tips.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on.
pat

Pat you have to do this no matter what I did this for 8 months living under the same roof as I culdn't move anywhere else until I moved back to the UK as I had my daughter and her routine to think of. I packed 6 weeks before Xmas 2007 and we landed in some horrible rental place on 23rd Dec o7. Don't move stick it out he will fail not you because you are proving to him that you are the stronger one - believe in yourself truly and Good Luck but just look at him sometimes and know it's him who has destroyed not you and you will not go from your home because of that!!!

hey guys. pat i am feeling the same as you. he left for greener grass, which i now know was going on a lot longer than he said!!
it has gone wrong, they actually moved in together and it lasted 3 weeks!!! threw away nearly 20 years for that.
anyway he is now living with his family. got a call on monday to ask me to forward some post. he had been up the previous week to collect some stuff, i was out. the conversation was about the house looking shabby and how he is keeping me!!! and dont forget he wants to sell it at the end of the year.
the point is i have had a revelation!!! realise all the times he was nasty ,putting me down etc was when he was up to something and to make himself feel better he put the blame on me. i have had a very unhappy year and realise i was very ill with stress and low self esteem.
BUT i am going to be strong. i feel a fool at the moment that i let him get away with treating me the way i did and have gone from being happy to anxious again, but realise it is my way of getting emotions out.i look back and see all the lies and signs.
DONT be bullied or intimidated,however hard it is. you can be strong. have as little contact as possible. read between the lines of what he says,take control. my stbx doesnt like the fact i have taken back my life and he has no part of it.You are worth more and will get through this.Stay put they are the wrongdoers not us. remember that

janiebee,

you know exactly what is going on!! My husband did the same, after I found out about the affair, he blamed me for everything,he did try and make things work at the beginning but deep down I knew his heart truly wasn`t in it. Somedays I wake and can`t beleive the way he has treated me , and still is treating me, we might have to live under the same roof for some years so it not going to be easy, I DO NOT want to come out of this relationship with nothing at all financially!!
I will take your excellent advice and keep as little contact as possible. thank you so much for your inspiration.
pat

anytime pat. we are in the same boat so feel free to call on me whenever.

keep in touch. x