What do I do now???

Hi, I am here because yesterday I finally managed to talk to my wife of 22 years about what's going on. We are both in our forties, don't think anyone else is involved, she's just fallen out of love.

She told me it's over, she just wants to live with our kids (17 & 11), doesn't want me around anymore. So this morning I moved out, staying with relations, will start to look for accomodation soon.

We went though similar approx. 3 years ago. Then I came home after some weeks, as she wanted me to, but I think this time it's for good, and I guess I don't want to go back. I just can't bear to see our kids upset...

So I'd appreciate any advice you have, thanks. I am the main bread winner; net monthly income of £3800, hers is £300. marital home is in joint names - worth approx.£250K with £60K mortgage (endowment ) of which some matures in 2010. With both have car loans, hers is £200 mine is £300 month. We have assets - she probably has £12K, I have £6K. We started with virtually nothing 22years ago.

So I'd appreciate any advice you have, thanks. Guess I am feeling kinda like I've just been hit by a train, but am still breathing, is that a good or bad thing?

Cheers

Hi

Welcome to Wiki. Sorry you need us, but very glad you found us.

Still breathing is a very good thing - just keep it up, and remember, over the next few weeks, you will be in shock and breathing is all you have to do.

Re doing some sums for you, pleae read this:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html

and post any info you have missed. We can then have a look for you, but with your disparity in incomes, it is unlikely to be good news, sorry.

Amanda

And here is a song for you to remind you ... to just breathe

Thanks for the response DL.
Our approximate dets:

Your respective ages; Male 47, Female 43

The number of children you have and their ages; 2 - (17 and 10)

How many nights the children spend with each parent; undecided as its very early days - I would hope I could have them at least 1 night per week once I have a flat.

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation; 22 years plus 1 year cohab.

Your respective incomes; My net £3800 month, hers £300,

Your respective outgoings (all monthly amounts);
Monthly Mortgage costs on current property, plus buildings, contents and heating insurance £700 (I plan to continue to pay mortgage and buildings insurance of £600)
Monthly Utilities, council tax etc on current property £300
Other current home related costs; broadband, etc. £70
Childcare outgoings: £180 child tutoring, £100 other
Wife Lifestyle outgoings: Car £170, Tax, insurance and Petrol £140
My planned rent costs: £900
Planned Monthly utilities, council tax, etc.: £250
My planned lifestyle outgoings: Car £300, car tax, insurance and fuel: £230

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Joint assets/ liabilities.
Former matrimonial home valued at £250000
Savings: £1000

Wife's assets: all gained since marriage
Shares: £10000
Savings: £2000
Car: on £170 monthly PCP: current value approx £9000

My assets: all gained since marriage
Shares: £6000
Savings: £1000
Car: Monthly HP of £300: current value approx £10000

Really appreciate any guidance the peeps can give! Thanks!