.

You are not alone in your feelings; it is an emotional rollercoaster. Some people are further down the line of this journey and they tell us that it does get better. I cling to that hope; in time the pain will ease. Look after yourself, blog on here or write in the forum again; writing things down and getting support from others in the same situation will help (some days). Try to come into chat; we cry and laugh together. Sending you warm wishes and a big hug.
x

Bless you

Jo x

Welcome to Wiki

First things first - It is almost certainly NOT your fault that you have ended up where you are today.

Not eating or sleeping properly is, I am afraid, perfectly normal under the circumstances. You are going through a seriously high level of stress and reactive depression. It's happened to pretty much everyone on the receiving end.

She says there is no one else, that may be true. Best advice would be to not even think about the possibility and do not go looking for any kind of evidence that there might be. You will only get your head messed up more. I know, I discovered (Just 2 weeks ago) my stbx had an affair in December. I left in early Feb 2009 as was just beginning to get a hold of my life a little, then I found out. It has set me back a bit and I now have many thoughts rattling around.

Just try to strong for you are the children. Good luck and hope to see more posts from you.

Is it normal to want to curl up and stare silently at the walls?

I didn't do that but I would imagine many people do. I was agrophobic for the first two weeks but at least had a radio on to keep in touch with the outside world.

Try not to look back at what may or may not have gone wrong (easier said than done I know) and try to focus your energy on your children and looking at a way to rebuild yourself mentally. It's not a short or easy process and the early days are truly horrible. It will get better, albeit slowly. Use the chat room and forums to get support here. There are many people who know the pain you have and are only to happy to help you.

Keep posting and create a blog you can update, it all helps to flush the pain out.

Try to eat even it is only a little. The sleep will come eventually, for now just accept you can't sleep properly and it is one thing less to worry about.

My friend, you only have to look at the post below to know you are not alone.

It's a dark place, but with help you can get through it.

The light at the end of the tunnel for me is still the oncoming train, but at least I'm not alone with my thoughts anymore.

S

ilovemykids wrote:

There is now only numbing shock, a desperation to understand and to fix it.

The pain comes in waves. I cannot eat, cannot sleep, cannot do much other than think about how it is my fault

Is it normal to want to curl up and stare silently at the walls?


(((((ilovemy kids))))))

All these are part of the process......unbearably painful...difficult for many to understand/cope with...time and occupation are great healers....feeling the pain and loss and letting go helped me, as did the genuine love of some of the true friends I have met when I was able to start living again.

I have sent you a pm.

Elle x