.

Hi, the feeling is like no other, but in time it becomes more manageable.
Don't feel you are to blame, there are two in a marriage.
Where on earth did you go to for a bowl of coconut and potato soup? sounds like something my eldest would 'create' and I would 'have' to enjoy

Daisygreen

I had exactly the same conversation with my wife after 26 years.

I too got the "I have to go before I begin to hate you"

There is no one reason for all of it, it really isn't about you, it's all about her. There is nothing that you have done wrong, you have just been a victim of someone elses confusion and emotional drain. As neil says, there maybe someone else, there was in my case too. Thing is, knowing will not change things, you will only be told that the other person has NOT been influentual in the decision (which in itself is a lie, but THEY believe it) and you are likely to be told a lot of lies.

That will only hurt you more, trust me, the lying is FAR worse.

Try to eat, try to get out and about, try not to think about why or what may have been.

It's a horrible place, probably the worst you will ever be in, but you will come through and we will help you.

Take Care

It's perfectly normal to cry, to curl up, to not want to go out, to stop eating, to overeat, to drink too much, to think its all my fault/if only/what if/ etc.

It's horrible, but it is normal, lots of people have gone through it and emerged stronger and better. You will too.

Keep posting, and try to eat. I don't recommend potato and coconut, but soup is easy to get down and can be nutritious and comforting. Bananas are also a good energy food.

Three things, all practical rather than emotional.
Why would you leave the house just because she wants you to? Don't leave, the consequences are huge. You probably feel emotionally distraught and would be prepared to do anything just now for some inner peace. But don't leave the house, certainly not yet. You must give your emotions time to stabilize a bit.
Eat simple stuff like bananas, not crap fast junk. Porridge, fruit, decent soup, etc., all good for you, easy to prepare and cheap and quick. Dull, but worthy. And skip the booze.
See a doc and if you need them get anti-depressants and sleeping tablets. They are not addictive if used properly and your nerves and sleep are very important right now.
I'm a bit tired at the moment but I will try to post again in the next few days. I have an FDR tomorrow so I'm a bit distracted!
We've all been there, that's why we're on this site. Cliche I know but it really does get better. Not great, just better.

Hi Ilove

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. You have come to the right place for support and advice. Wiki has helped me through some emotional trauma, so many of us feeling the same set of emotions at varying levels/stages, yet we are here for each other.

Thre is no simple explaination for why someone says I love you but am not in love with you. My ex said the same at various times through our 28 years together. Yet the shock was still bad when he finally walked out and didn't come back. Who knows what a person is thinking, especially if they don't tell you anything is wrong.

I agree junk food is bad, but I just ate whatever I could regardless, because at least it was something as opposed to nothing. I avoided alcohol as it exagerates moods, so not good when on a low. If you don't eat you can become dehydrated and then it is harder to stay focused, so please try to eat a bit when you can.

Try to get a bit of exercise, even a short walk, as the fresh air really helps to keep depression at bay. They say that walking promotes clearer thinking. I believe it does as nature has no influence like the pressures of today's society can have.

Keep popping into chat, everyone is lovely in there and it will help to talk to others or just listen to what others are going through.

Take care
79fw

ilovemykids,

I nibbled a bagel every day for 9 years...sometimes I manage to digest the whole thing...today I have not had my bagel..a young man (one of my sons that I have not seen for years)pepared and served me a nutritious breakfast...why am I telling you this?

I want to share with you the fact that I often believed I could not cope without seeing our kids...the pain was always there and intolerable...I am so happy that I soldiered on..today that pain has melted.

I wish you well

Elle x