my head is spinning!!

JUst to let you all know the latest.
Have talked to wife and she wanted to only tell children we are living apart but trying to work it out. She has been in touch with RELATE and it takes 5-8 weeks to get an appointment.
After talking to my best friend and his wife, they advised me to make her tell others including parents. She needs other adults to talk to and watch out for her.
I really dont want to get back together yet here i am letting her hold onto a branch. Should i be more ruthless?? Should i let time show her that there is no going back for me??
I am still at the xroads!!

personally I'd say if you want her to get the message its over then you need to be very obvious about it.

You cannot let anyone down gently, it is going to hurt a lot.

I found it really difficult after my X moved out that he kept coming back to see if I was all right (guilt on his part). It was much easier when I said I wanted to be out when he came to see the kids.

8 months on and I can see him without feeling anything, which is so much better.