Have you heard this one?

She married him because he was such a "strong man"
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."

He married her because she was so "fragile and petite."
He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless."

She married him because "he knows how to provide a good living."
She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business."

He married her because "she reminds me of my mother."
He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day."

She married him because he was "happy and romantic."
She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving."

He married her because she was "steady and sensible."
He divorced her because she was "boring and dull."

She married him because he was "the life of the party."
She divorced him because he is always "the life of the party."

Fantastic, you just have to laugh don't you? .

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, "Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a 13 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 51 year old blonde. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

Now the wife, a very reasonable woman, told him to go out and find a hot 21 year old blonde, and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and if he was lucky he would have a small television to watch.

I was trying to find a quote about marriage 4 a friend's engagement. I didn't use these!

An event which is called "tying the knot" - unfortunately, the knot can be a noose.

A word which always means commitment - but so does insanity.

The joining of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them.

The only legal method of suppressing freedom of speech.

A condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting.

A status which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into a failure.

Marriage is not a word, but a sentence