If you are a lawyer don`t read this ;)

A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher:
How much for Engineer brain?
3 dollars an ounce
How much for (other generic profession) brain?
4 dollars an ounce.
How much for lawyer brain?br> 100 dollars an ounce.
Why is lawyer brain so much more?
Do you know how many lawyers you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?

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An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large company. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?"

The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the BSA and many calculations, he also announced "Four."

The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the blinds in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?"

Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.