Anybody you know need a sign today?

In this day and age of "Duty of Care" we have a responsibility to protect stupid people. They should legally have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind, I didn't see your sign."

It's like before we moved house. Our house was full of boxes and there was a bloody big removal truck right in our driveway. My neighbour comes over and says, "Hey you moving?" I looked at him dumbfounded... "Nuh. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with Jimmy a mate of mine, we pulled his boat into the ramp, I lifted up this kickass bluebone and this idiot on the ramp goes, "Hey, you catch all them fish?" "What the.... Nah.. We talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...they want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it".

Last time I had a flat tyre, I pulled my car into a service station. The attendant walks out, looks at my car, looks at me, and no shit he says, "Tyre go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nuh.... I was driving around and those other three just swelled up on me... Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house; he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Shit, that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my other life. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of this bridge? The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how hard I tried so radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...fair enough...no probs.... I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

BRILLIANT !!!!! I will certainly be listening to people more carefully today. My trouble is I'm always so polite....maybe I can learn a thing or two and have a giggle at others expense, ha ha. Supercali xx

I've got me own permanent sign tatooed on me forehead.It's similar to your one

Elle,
You might enjoy this too.....

Damn - the file didn't upload..

Just the musical version of your post.

But take a look in you tube for Bill Engvall and there are several - all very funny eg -

Thanks for that Milby

A couple of months ago an old lady from across the road knocked on my door to let me know she had reversed in to my car, odd i thought its a bright red estate car and always parked in the same place and it was a nice sunny day, hey ho these things happen i thought to myself...........

Ill need your insurance details she said, erm why i asked, so your insurance can pay for the damage to my car she replied, i paused for a second and said with respect i think they will see it as your fault it being parked and your reversing in to and all, yes she said getting angry but if you hadn't parked it there i wouldnt have hit it would i..........


Any spare signs?