Realisation of my life

Hi,
I have been through probably what I would consider to be the worst year of my life. About to be divorced from my childhood sweetheart and no longer see my children everyday as they live with their mum.
On top of that, I have had the lodger from hell trying to destroy my life and then more recently I got mugged in a Manchester street and had my mobile phone taken. I am left thinking, how much bad luck can one person have in their life.

I am now starting to really reflect on my life - how much it has changed and what I am left with.

I am lonely. I miss the closeness to someone, the intimacy, having someone there to come home to, going for meals. All of those special moments.

I have a good circle of friends but they are all in relationships. I never feel excluded but often I feel like a spare part when we attend social events.

I am not ready to meet anyone else nor do I want to at the moment. I am trying to adjust to my life and be happy in myself before I decide what else I would like.

Would be great if there was a social community set up on here to all get together for drinks and a chat as I have had the best advice, support and help from members of this forum. Would be lovely to take the opportunity and socialise as we are all pretty much in the same situation and can relate to each other.

Maybe a silly post to put on but it''s just how I feel today

Gosh, you really have been having a terrible time of late - I''m sorry.

Why not organise a social event for other members of Wikivorce - one local to where you live perhaps? A meal out, a few drinks or just a coffee and a cake on a Saturday afternoon? Social meet-ups are usually very popular - it just takes someone to organise them

Sounds like you are very sensible and well grounded to me.
When youve had a life changing event.. it is inevitable that there will be down days.. but you also know that they are temporary and things get better
Better today tomorrow

Aww big hugs.

It''s not a silly post at all.

It''s real and from the heart and everyone can empathise with the way you feel.

There are ''wikimeets''. I actually went on one in Manchester not long ago so maybe it''s time to arrange another one up North - maybe Leeds, Manchester, Sheffield or York???

I know how it feels when everything piles high and you think ''why me?'' but it will pass and things will balance out again in time.

I''m having a bad run right now:
Decree Absolute due any day
Sister not speaking to me
Best friend moving away
Dad had a stoke, mum very stressed.

Apart from that........ well life''s a breeze!

But I''m fit and healthy and my children are amazing and I have lots to be thankful for and to me it''s just another blip until the sun shines again.

It''s a rollercoaster!!!

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.
Patsy

Hi, yes we''ve all been there, and we think why me? But it is what it is and things will get better, I know it''s cr&p at the moment, and you will work through it, you have to, but it sounds like you have a good support network. I felt I was becoming a divorce bore. The meetings are fun and everyone there will listen to you and support you. Good luck x

Yes, you''ve been through the wringer. It never rains but it pours.

A few days after my x upped and left out of the blue, I was due to meet him for the first time when I witnessed the murder of my neighbour on my doorstep. Then what with one thing and another everything just continued to get worse and worse: turned out he had been lying, had stolen all our money, I lost my sight (now restored), now I have more or less lost one of my children as well. One of my friends betrayed me horribly too.

From day one I have felt that I was at the end of my tether, but not only has my tether stretched, all of me has stretched and now (quite some time later but still not out of it) I find myself thinking that being ditched by the love of my life after over 20 years, and 20 years out of the workforce, is the best thing that could have happened to me. Given that he is a crook, and given how much I have learned. I have lost an awful lot, but I have gained too. Self respect, insight, strength and new friends.

I know it is not a competition, and I know that there are plenty worse off than me. All I am trying to say is: we know. You think you can''t bear any more, but the world has other ideas and does hit us when we are down. In the end we bounce back up. It seems unending but it does end.

And in the meantime, it is a good idea to lean on people here, and meet them in the flesh too. You need support, nothing wrong with that! You will manage.

Not a silly post at all.

You have been through a lot and being able to communicate with people who really understand how you feel is invaluable.

You are doing the right thing - it is often said on here that you need to be happy with yourself before even thinking of forming another relationship - one of the best (amongst many helpful sayings) I have come across on here is "become the type of person you want to attract". Like Eliza I am regaining my self respect and learning the importance of setting boundaries and I certainly would not have reached the point I am now without the wisdom and support of fellow Wikis.

A Wiki meet would be great - anyone brave enough to organise?