I have no idea of the circumstances of your divorce and even if I didn''t accept your claim that it was both your fault, fault isn''t the issue.
Divorce is a mighty great shock to the systems of the couple, it is also upsetting to those around, and yes friends and family do take sides. There are surprises too, for some you thought you could depend on turn their backs on you, and others unexpectedly provide you with incredible support. In the immediate and during the divorce process, self pity is understandable and I would argue essential, even though that in itself will turn people from you. It happens to us all, and it doesn''t matter a jot about fault.
The way forward is a much happier prospect in the longer term. You have the opportunity to assess yourself, who you are, where you failed, where your heart is, who you want to be, how you want to live your life. And I really do mean concentrate on yourself, not for instance where your partner failed you - in the future that is immaterial. It is a difficult process but ultimately a rewarding one.
The good thing is that you have acknowledged you are dependent on alcohol, and also that it is blighting your life. Those who have turned their back on you are more likely to have done so because of your behaviour, even if initially influenced by your ex''s account. The truth will out, so perhaps take an outsider''s view of yourself. I did, and although I was the one who was left, and I didn''t take to alcohol, I believe I benefited enormously for doing so. As a direct consequence, I have a much happier life than I could ever have anticipated, even with the caveat that it is an ongoing process and I still make mistakes.
In a practical sense of dealing with your alcohol dependence, I would probably speak to my GP, mine was a rock. The other thing I did was to volunteer, in my case helping out with a small charity for the older folk in our community. Well it was me who gained the most help, because in those few hours every couple of weeks, I forgot myself and my situation, and so gave my mind a much needed rest from the turmoil. I also looked around and bit by bit got involved in a couple of local groups, so I''m learning and and having such joy in doing so. None of this will stop your dependence immediately, but it will all help.
I''m guessing this is very early days for you, so even if your self analysis throws up stuff that isn''t good, acknowledge it, and if you can''t put it right, comfort yourself that your new life doesn''t have to be a repeat run. I''m now at the stage of forgiveness. I am struggling, it is all too easy to forgive myself, but friends tell me I''ll only be completely healed when I can forgive him for the pain he caused me.
I do help this helps, even a little
