Hit a raw nerve.

Patsy39 wrote:

I''m actually proud of the way I''ve dealt with my break up. There are loads of positive things that have come out of it and I honestly would not swap my life now for what I had before. But that doesn''t mean that I don''t still hurt sometimes.

I can categorically say that I am NOT in love with my ex any more, but there will always be a part of me that loves him and from time to time I still miss him. I''m human - I''m not a machine. Maybe I will never truly get over the agony of the awful betrayal and the contempt he showed for my feelings at the end of our marriage, but I''ve got over a lot of obstacles, lived through the pain, and learned how to cope with my new single life and being a single mum.

My friend doesn''t understand why I''m not in another relationship yet. Maybe that''s why she wrongly assumes that I''m still hung up on my ex. I have been out with some lovely guys but I''m just cautious and I''ve genuinely not met anyone who I''ve fallen for.

My friend is desperate for a man and can''t understand why I would turn a guy down. It doesn''t mean I haven''t moved on - it just means I''m happy on my own and in no rush to settle for something that''s not absolutely right. I see that as a positive not a negative.

One day I hope to be completely indifferent to any references to my ex and be able to breeze on by. But for now it still cuts me from time to time, but that will take as long as it takes.

You''ve summed it up beautifully - I totally relate to all of this! I agree it''s a position of strength to be learning to live alone happily and is in no way proof that you are not "over" your ex.
I also miss the man my ex used to be, but I think of him someone who died several years ago. I also look forward to the day that I don''t notice any anniversary dates or feel sick when I drop them off to his house, but expect that will take years.
Don''t worry what your friend thinks Patsy, we know you''re doing great X