His pension, he says I don't have a claim?

I only hear little snippets via our son, usually what I'm not going to get, it's the usual sinario, he walked out for someone else but doesn't feel I should have anything.
When we met he had a pension linked mortgage on the house he shared with his first wife, the property was sold and he changed the pension to a different one.
For a short period he paid into it but because he rarely worked finances were tight and it was forgotten about.

In a year or so, the pension will mature and I know he will want to take the 25% lump sum.
Via our son he has said because he didn't pay into it during our marriage, it won't go into the pot.
Together 23 years, married 15 seperated for 3 years.

Would it count in offsetting, if not for sharing? Or is he right and it won't count at all?

The simple answer is it depends ...

The pension should go into the pot and it may be argued out depending on circumstances. If there is no other pension provision, it may well be considered. The fact he can take a lump sum in cash will definitely be relevant when looking at your means and needs for housing etc.

Have you started financial negotiations? I think you need to establish a more formal route for communication about these matters. It really isn't appropriate for your son to be party to these discussions.

Hadenoughnow

If you have been separated 3 years, what is the situation re actual divorce? How are you managing your finances during this period?

If the marriage is definitely over as it sounds, why not divorce him? I was terrified to do this myself but in the end I did. It was scary, but not as scary as not knowing.

I thought I couldnt live without my ex, and also that I could not support myself. While separated we were in limbo and I was in a terrible way financially. Things are still bad as I have very little and he is not making the payments re me and the children that he should. Claims to have no money and I don't know what to believe.

On the basis of my experience (and the research I did when writing a book on the subject) I would advise you to do whatever you can to achieve a Clean Break. The courts will prefer it, and so should you. Having ongoing relations and wondering if you can face taking your ex to court or whether it is worth it is an unending nightmare and prolongs all the agony, disappointment and anger.

So yes, the pension should go in the pot, along with everything else. Clear the decks and get on with your life knowing where you stand.

Good luck!

Thank you for replying Hadenough, we have agreed to voluntarily exchange form E although I can guarentee his will show he has absolutely nothing, despite inheriting 1/2 shares in a very profitable business and two properties, which has enabled him to retire at age 54.
I meanwhile genuinely have nothing and am in debt.

We don't communicate at all, the snippets I'm given are engineered to get back to me to indicate I have a fight on my hands if I think I'm entitled to anything.
I communicate via his solicitors, I don't have one as I cannot afford it.

The sad fact is that now I look back I can see he utilised all marital assets during the marriage, such as remortgaging the FMH for as much as possible (interest only) and he was the only one who had access to the further advance of £75,000. There are charging orders on the FMH for approx £50,000 for debts in his sole name.
There really are no marital assets to share.
I will be homeless in 10 years when the mortgage term ends at age 56.
My crime, loving my husband and going along with everything he wanted me to do!

If you don't think you will get proper disclosure through voluntary exchange of forms E or a fair offer, you may want to think about applying to the court for financial settlement.

What are the debts on the FMH related to?
What has happened to the properties and the share in the business?

Is there any equity in the FMH?

What do you think the money has been spent on?

Hi Hadenough
I'm positive I won't get proper disclosure, he's a lying deceitful character at the best of times and conforms to nothing!

When he went bankrupt in 2009 I bought his beneficial interest in the FMH, from the official receiver who was holding it, little did I know that the charging orders were not dissolved in his bankruptcy, so they became my problem once he'd left me.
The biggest CO is for his old business bank account, only he was a signitory.
The other one is for a builders merchant account, again only he could make the purchases.
The properties of the business are still being rented out to tennents, the income must be at least £18,000 pm month and no expenses aside from taxes, and the phony invoices my ex self employed builder husband submits to the company for 'maintenance work' on the properties he hasn't done.

There were two wills, one unsigned no one knows what that one stated.
The executors and shareholders have both given up work since their fathers passing and pay themselves dividends monthly. This is the reason they want to keep the business going rather than sell and divide between themselves and the other 4 beneficiaries (residule) they (executors and biggest benefactors) have a nice income for doing nothing and have inherited the fathers property so live mortgage free.

The further advance paid off his income tax demand (from his self employed business) his vat demand, his various credit cards and bank loans, and a new vehicle for him. I think we cleared one of my debts of around £5,000,
I was aware what it was being spent on so don't have any comeback on that, anything at the time that made him happy was okay with me. Of course I had no idea he knew he was going to leave me once the time was right for him.

Eliza
There is nothing more I would love to do than cross petition on unreasonable behaviour grounds, but I simply do not have the money to do it.
I qualified on DA grounds given the police reports since he left and my GP records during the marriage, but earn too much for legal aid (it really is only for people on benefits, not genuine low incomes)
But if my stress levels keep building as they are, I will be unable to work and qualify!