House and Pension CETV

I know this question has been asked in various formats but not quite with my case so any help would be greatly appreciated.
My ex and are were married 17 years, co-habited before for 3 years, have 2 children, 11 and 15 who live with me in the former marital home, which he signed over to me when we split up in order to avoid exra stamp duty and which I now pay the mortgage on and will need to till I am 75 as only way I could afford to take it over.
After we separated he bought a house with all the marital savings we had as the deposit.
We are now at the Consent Order stage of the divorce and he is changing mind..I had said he could keep all his pension (he has a very large £485,000 CETV, mostly final salary) in return for me keeping the equity in the house (approx £290K) In 4 years he can take £121k tax free,
I have no pension of my own as have always worked in part time jobs to be around for the kids which we both wanted and he earns 4 times as much as me per month as a consequence. He is 51 and I am 43 - any thoughts as to if my offer would be seen as unreasonable? I can't really afford to see a solicitor so bit stuck. I was hoping once kids were older to downsize and keep any extra money aside from that as my pension..
Thanks for any help anyone can give.

Welcome to wikivorce. That is a very big pension to be walking away from.

Your contributions to the marriage would be counted as equal.

The financial settlement would be based on the assets as they are now.

What is the equity in your property?

What is the equity in his?

What are your respective incomes?

It would not be unreasonable, in the circumstances you outlined, for you to have a greater share of the equity. I would still expect you to have some share of the pension.

Hadenoughnow

The equity in marital home is approx £290k, his is a new purchase so probably only about £30k equity. He earns £60k a year, I earn £12k. I am wanting to keep marital home and let him keep his home and pension. As he is 51 he can take £121k tax free in 4 years from his pension so there is cash value for him which is what he’s arguing about...
I don’t want to diddle him but at same time I need financially a home for me and my children, it’s already now in my sole name and he only pays me child maintenance as dictated by government website, no more..

Could you reasonably have sold the FMH and moved somewhere cheaper to meet your housing needs? Your strict need is a 3 bed place.

My view would be that although you are getting the lion's share of the equity, you both have your housing needs met so he doesn't "need" any more cash at present.

You aren't getting spousal maintenance and he is presumably paying a large mortgage so it could be seen that some of the equity you have is capitalised spousal maintenance paid as a lump sum rather than monthly.

If the lump sum from his pension was counted as part of the cash assets, what you have is actually a 65:35 split of cash. This is well within the spectrum.of fairness given the disparity in incomes.

To even things out you would need around 30-35% of the whole pension - NB this would impact his lump sum. You could see if you could have an arrangement whereby he takes the lump sum and the residue is shared 50:50. Or he could share the lump sum and you have less of the residue.

Hadenoughnow

The only way I can keep my children in a 3 bed house would be to move them away to somewhere cheaper. As my daughter is in midfkevGCSes I can’t do this yet. I am hoping he will see reason that it’s not a bad deal I’m offering and keep his pension and I keep house or I’m going to have to make it probably nasty and costly by involving solicitors...

It doesn't have to be nasty or costly. An application to court shouldn't necessarily be seen as hostile. Sometimes it is needed to get things moving. It can also be immensely helpful to have a judge's input on what a fair settlement could look like. You can settle at any time and will be encouraged to do so.

Before you can apply to the courts mediation has to be attempted.

If you do apply to the courts, you can do it yourself, you don't need a solicitor, certainly in the initial stages. The paperwork is tedious but pretty straightforward. There is lots of help available on the site. You can also use the cost effective services that we offer to support litigants in person. Have a look at the services tab or give the helpline a call.

Hadenoughnow