Other people,s views that hurt me.

yellowrose71 wrote:

WHY do i feel so embarrassed still when i did nothing wrong.

I dont know and we are all different. I know that in the early days, people I met who knew the both of us got chapter and verse on what she had done to me. Now... I just say I am fine and I love my new life. What went before went before. And it doesnt matter who did what now. I think it could be because I am settled in my new life and I have dealt with the demons.

But I think there is an element of guilt on the side of the vic. One that he or she shouldnt have. You didnt cause this and you didnt pull his pants down. But an element of "did I cause this" often remains. And its something you come to realise in time. That you didnt cause this but it doesnt matter. The important thing is that you are not with him anymore. And he chose someone younger when he had the perfect fit right in front of him. Thats bad sister. And thats his fault. Not yours. So you should shuck off this guilt. You have done nothing wrong.

The other thing... Often you can sense pain. I know I can. You can see it in someones eyes. Often I say "whats wrong"(automaticly) when I meet someone that has pain in there eyes and you cant hide it from others that have known pain. So it could be why you get spoke to this way. And it all being a bit raw makes you go into chapter and verse like I used to.

But deal with the pain. Let it go. There isnt any good in carrying around pain. It ages you and bears down on you. You are free. Or you will be soon of this awful, useless waste of space of a man. He is someone else''s problem now. And let her find out what he is like. Useless.

And what of this women? Is he so desperate that she will take a man out of wedlock? Bad. Very bad. They are welcom to each other I say. C.

Mark6138 wrote:

"Was there any change in your sex life prior to the split?" with, well, "Tell me how often you have sex and what you get up too and then I can provide a like for like comparison." What do you think?

Dunno. Its an odd thing to ask for sure. As if sex is anything todo with a split. It may be something that someone accuses someone else. But thats rarely the case I think. Often people will tell me that sex wasnt an issue. It certainly wasnt in my case anyway. It was all down to a father replacement. I wasnt that person for her. Go figure.

But just say, mind your own... I tend to. And you dont need to justify to anyone except yourself.

I got fed up with my story long ago. Now I just quote the brady bunch version. "Grew apart. Ended by mutual agreement." That seems to do the trick. And it doesnt matter now anyway. Lots of water under that bridge. C.

hi there, thank you for your brilliant reply, you have made me smile:) What you said about pain in peoples eyes is very true, my older sister says this to me all the time, that i look in pain and that my eyes look sad. so other people proberly do pick up on this. As for TOW more like young girl! To hurt another person so badly is beyond me. i don,t know how these people sleep at night.