Divorced but entering into Step monster role..help

Well divorce done and dusted so the next phase is step monster...

My partner who I have been with for almost 3 years has yet to start proceedings but we have been living together for over 2 years has children, they are aged 25 with a 6 year old herself - she''s great in actual fact is his step child!
18 almost 19 yr old at uni, 17 yr old daughter and 8 yr old son.
The 2 middle daughters hate my guts as they clearly blame me for the break up of their parents marriage, not strictly the case but I understand their loyalty to their mother. Their attitude towards their father has gone from total blanking to only ever calling for money or something. Been through the court system for partner to get agreed access to son finally have every other weekend and he''s allowed to collect from school twice a week.this in itself is a major feat as we live 70 miles away... We are moving to be closer to his family... I have 2 daughters of my own aged 13 and 10 due to my own divorce my eldest is living with my sister at present and will remain so, the youngest had shared custody with her father and me (we lived 5 mins away from each other) but now will come with me full time as he wasn''t really coping with daughters..
Problem is his children really, the son is getting better being with in my company at the start the mother insisted that the 17 yr old accompany him on weekend visits which were quite frankly awful. A dreadful atmosphere. Now she doesn''t come its almost normal. Although he is clearly spoilt and can barely do anything for himself, ie tie shoe laces, take plate to kitchen. As he is the only boy and youngest in his home he is treated like a King...I don''t roll that way but feel I''m the wicked step mum.
The new issue arising is family get together''s, I have been accepted into my partners family, even to the point of taking a holiday with his 2 brothers and sisters and their wives and husband! Recently, had a situation visiting the elderly father in hospital, most of the family was there including the stbx and her
children, I felt really awkward and don''t know what to do or how to behave in such scenarios ...Is there a forum for step monsters to talk?

If you find one please let me know as my wife (also a step-monster) would love to join.

Frustrating when the ex is so influention on the kids feelings towards new partners isnt it?!

I wish i could say it gets better, but in my 2 years it hasnt.

Can I join too!! Finding being a step mum much harder than I ever did bringing up my own three single handed!

There is no discipline or routines at mums so I am defiantly step monster at ours because I won''t put up with back chat or poor manners.

Me too. His Absolute any day, but I can''t even see his kids...18 months on. Best of luck to you all xxx

Hi, try www.britishsecondwivesclub.co.uk/forum/ you will find many women going through the same as you.