Internet Dating - Not Going Well

I have been trying out Internet dating. It didn''t really exist before I was married, and being a bit of a geek I was quite excited to try it out.

I have found though that things are not going well. I am on a few sites, including some of the free ones and I have paid to join eHarmony.

Although I am getting dates, they are not going anywhere, mostly things don''t proceed to a second date, and I haven''t been able to get beyond a third date with anyone.

I have now been out with a lot of women, I think close to 20.

I guess I wanted to ask, is this lack of progress normal for Internet dating? Or does it seem like I am going wrong somewhere?

It''s normal. You have to keep at it - the process is about exposing yourself (not like that) to people so that you feel at ease with strangers. If you try too hard the process feels stilted.

Don''t look for a life partner, look for somebody to spend the afternoon/evening with. If you get on okay, the next date will follow on naturally.

Charles

My experiences are similar... certainly, in terms of the number of dates. In my experience it was a very rare one that ever went to a second date. But, the fact that you''re doing this (going dating) is brilliant. Every date means putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation, which means getting more at ease with the whole bizarre nature of the process. Keep doing it if you feel that it is the right thing for you.

I totally hated the whole thing at first but then I got to (weirdly) quite enjoy the experience. I felt that I had made a contribution to a fun afternoon, then that made for a good outcome.

I''ve had my fair share of ''stinkers'' (in terms of ''bad dates'' - not that the people I were dating were bad people). One of the worst was when I turned up and accidentally discovered that I had left my wallet at home (accidentally, I add!) That didn''t go down too well... but we just had a coffee, as opposed to a meal out! The other one was a date with a junior doctor who came across as being totally bored. I obviously wasn''t the jet setting creative rock star she was looking for (!)

Hi Guys,

I sympathise with you as I am in a similar position.

I have joined "connectingsingles" free site only to find my ex''s profile on there as "divorced" 2 years before we actually divorced. Arrgh. Problem is he married again within 6 months of our divorce and he is still active on the site.

I''ve made it very clear what I want, and what I don''t want. I suppose the best advice is to meet friends and see if it could lead anywhere.

Good luck in your search.

Wiser

If there is one thing I have learned is dont date as potential partners. Dating for the sake of a partner puts a lot of pressure on. And thats not what you need when you want to have some fun with someone and learn about them. Just take a chilled attitude to a date. C.

Ive had dates from dating sites,some successful others not so good,from my experience its easy to chat whilst on site but not so face to face.Im with someone now who I met online,we clicked right from the start,we laugh together ,talk and text when we don''t see each other but theres no pressure for either of us and that''s what nice.
Ive met men who straight away want to be introduced to the family,which is a big no no ,need to find out bout me first.
Its a big step to get out there again,but as long as you''re careful and honest ,have fun.