Why dont they take their belongings?

Was just about to say would be nice to see this from a guys point of view - as in one who just decided to up and leave his family. (not your situation Pete)

Ive got to hold my hands up to holding on to the joint bank statements ( i should really forward them on to him) but had i done that i would not have found out he had removed money from our mortgage and bought himself a new house

One thing i cant understand - i have photos all over the place of our lovely daughter - not one of these has been taken.

Mind you i think he did the same 20 years ago with his first wife
left with nothing and went home to his mum and dad. Then met me,
turned his life around - got a good job nice home, 2nd chance to have a family - then decided life was passing him by - up and left with suitcase and stereo - and has now bought himself a new life.

Hello to you:)
Having gone through the black bagging up and un-bagging at least 5 times over the last 18 months I feel I can answer your question fully!
Yesterday when HE decided he didn't know what he wanted and wasn't happy, after being back with me for just 2 weeks, I threw the roll of bin liners at him and told him to pack his own damn stuff!!!!!
I noticed when he'd gone he had left lots of little things which he could have taken but didn't. He's done this everytime. What generally happens next is in about 2 weeks he will find some way of contacting me to arrange to pick it up.
They like to still have that little bit of leeway just incase their new found freedom isn't so good. My advice is to pack anything thats left and shove it in a shed or garage out of sight. Or, better still if you have mutual friends get one of them to drop it off to him.
Most men who leave their wives like to keep their options open because lets face it, if you're leaving why not make a complete break and take ALL your stuff.
Me personally (after doing it so many times and siting here crying while writing this post) I am today picking up every little thing he's left behind and putting it in the bin!!!!
Take care x

This post has a common thread. They all never really leave their wife and kids. Mine was just the same I told him to go when i found out about his affair, bagged up all his clothes the next day and told him to collect them. To which he said "you dont hang about do you?" well that was just over 2 months ago and the rest of his stuff is in the garage still to be collected! He says he does not want anything else from the house apart from what he took. However, he has threatened on several occasions to move back in, one because he couldn't find his shoes! So who knows what goes through their mind but one thing is for sure I will never have him back and if he doesnt agree to a divorce soon I will force the issue as I want to start to rebuild my life. I appreciate their are men on this forum who have had this done to them so do women take the same view or are they more positive about their new life?

I read this thread yesterday as I came home to more or her mail. She hasn't collected any of it since November, she opened a new bank acocunt and her card and pin are still here, her car tax was due in November, the disc was posted here and is still here. A lot of her clothes are still here, as about 800 of her cds, she loved her cd collection. Shes even still using her joint Tesco clubcard and the vouchers are being sent here for us!!

Everything about the separating/adultery/divorce thing doesn't seem to make sense generally, I've pretty much given up trying to make sense of it - you can't make sense of madness! What I have done is put everything in one wardrobe and not looked in there since. I don't want to be reminded of her or the person she was before she made her stupid mistake. My own thoughts on the reasons why they do this are either they are so relieved to be gone that they just don't care or that they are trying to hedge their bets and mark their territory. Either way, its just another indication of the sheer lunacy of the state of mind of the stbx's.

Shock, horror! My ex came round yesterday to take elder son to rugby and when he returned he went through some of the stuff under the stairs and took a bit away. He was moaning that he couldn't find something so I reminded him there was a suitcase upstairs and stuff in upstairs cupboard too. He whined about why I'd moved everything round, so I said "I think you mean, thank you so much for packing up and storing my stuff and taking care of it while I couldn't be ***ed for 7 months".

When my ex husband left (again mid life crisis syndrome) and moved in with his fondant fancy, I gave him a deadline, said that all his belongingds would be in the local charity shop. He knew I meant it and would indeed carry out that threat. He soon came and picked his stuff up. I dont think that he had quite so much wardrobe space with his little fondant fancy as he had had with me, so was wondering what to do with it all. Not my problem;)

My husband's ex left loads of her stuff behind, with her it was just an excuse to enter the property as and when she wanted. Funny thing, she never took her stuff after one of her 'raids' it was always something belonging to her ex husband.

As long as you give them a couple of days to collect, dump the bloody stuff. AFter all, you cannot be prosecuted for 'theft' within marriage and divorce, so whats a few undercrackers and boxer shorts!!!!!

Just tell them, if you dont collect, you will have to scout the local charity shops and buy the stuff back again. Be tough.
Get the crap out of your life asap. It helps you to move on.

zara

My ex left a box of cr*p with me when he moved out. MLC or not, he had the foresight to take all our insurance policies and birth certificates. Sadly for him, he forgot to take our marriage certificate, which I later used to file for divorce.

I think he left it because he wanted to reinvent himself and didn't want any reminders (including me!) of his past life. I told him to come and get it, or it would end up in the skip. Nothing they do makes sense, so I don't try to fathom it out anymore.

If his mail is still coming to you, I'd return it to sender. It's keeping you in the past, and you must look forward now.