Why dont they take their belongings?

Hi Wengen,
All replies from women so far . . . is that because women don't leave or they don't leave anything I'm with rasher - bag it and deliver it to his new address when you can see he is in to retrieve it. I was about to leave after finding my wife had strayed and kept quiet but then she got cancer . . I stayed to make sure my youngest son and his mum made it through - her fling didn't last . . now the house is sold and we move out next Friday (me and son - one way - ex the other way). I'd have taken everything I cherished and anything legitimately mine but, I have binned stuff I don't want prior to the move and would have done that anyway. The fact that some people leave stuff is possibly because they never really cared about it in the first place. My ex has spent thousands of pounds on new clothes and makeup and a new car - she is 47y/o this year and I can sympathise . . men do not have the same vision of becoming undesirable and looking old as do women. Her wardrobe is there for the taking if I were malicious and. . . probably nothing would hurt her more ( except possibly the realisation she destroyed her marriage for a fling and now has no-one). I don't think your ex will stop paying the mortgage just because you dropped his stuff off for him - if it were in shreds he might be upset a little Get his towel off your lounger and move on !

I can't answer that for you, but am smiling to know that its not just me then....
I actually kicked him out tho for being a lying cheating basket - only a few weeks ago , again - like yours he has continued to pay the morgage - even park his works van at the end of the street when he gets home from work each week, and his answer is that if he pays the mortgage he can keep his stuff here... I feel as tho he has me over a barrel in that respect...tho I protest and why the heck shuld I collect all his stuff and sort ot out - why can't he.
He has no room - he's at his mums.. well rent a place then, but financially we cannot afford for him to do this and he knows I know this....
I just think its cos we let them.
Tho I must say I will not be that way after 8 months . For sure.
I suggest you tell him to collect it or you are throwing it out
or throw it out or even sell it and get a bit of cash for it .
If you have children he has to keep a roof over their heads.. or if you feel - cos it is at the end of the day - just bricks and mortar ... say so long to bad rubbish and sell the house ... 8 months - its time to move onwards and upwards !!!

Good advice..... think I'l get the scissors out too ! hell hath no fury !

I've been reading these posts & there is generally a common thread - ex moves out if he's been having affair & wants to be with OW. Not in my case, more's the pity. In January he delivered the fatal blow "in love with someone else... blah blah" & to this day he hasn't (to my knowledge) moved a single item to her house (the one she's been renting since May when she walked out on her husband). So, for the past 7 months, I've been living this half life where he comes & goes as he pleases, remains in control (he always was v controlling) & I'd say hoping to hedge his bets incase things don't work out. Bottom line, it's now me who is looking for somewhere else to live because he refuses to move out. Apparently he can't afford to move out plus his office is based here - what a crock of ***t.

We have no kids so it's not as though I have a leg to stand on really in terms of the house. I either put up with him swanning in & out wanting to be my "friend", occasionally hinting at reconciliation & meanwhile I have no sanctuary. Mind you he's on holiday with OW for 2 weeks & I've actually taken a day off work today as it's so nice to not be listening for his key in he lock!

Any advice anyone? I guess I really do have to move out even though he was the one who sloped off to have his mid-life crisis!

Hello Dazed
Sounds like you are right, if he wont go then you have to.
Sometimes you have to make the choice for them as they are so pathetic and weak and cant sort out their lives once they have someone else.
Plus they are too scared of cutting off completely.
You deserve a life thats not afraid of a key in the door.
make the move - he wont expect it and it will show how strong you are - and that will scare him
You deserve so much more as remember you are a better person.
good luck
GF x

dazed, i agree with gf there, but what can you do? The house needs sorting one way or another....have you spoken to a solicitor yet?

Can you make an offer of a buy out? If not sell up and move on, life is too short to be worrying about an ex in and out of your house / life esp as you have no children together? The calc for divorce is simple, well established and available on the website? I would hope you can be a strong enough woman not to want anything from a jerk like that, cos as gf says, you are much better than that? You are entitled, but the real women in this world don't even want it.