Why dont they take their belongings?

hi, well the first time we split he waited until he got his bachelor pad sorted then cleared 'all' of his belongings and kicked a huge hole through my bedroom ceiling whilst accessing the loft....he never repaired it. second time i bagged 'all' his stuff up and shoved it in his crappy car with the car key under the front wheel! third time...yes third time he tried to take bits as he needed them and so always had an excuse to contact me or come in the house, i tired of this so yet again bagged it up and handed it over in one go. i believe they leave things there as an excuse for contact, control and just in case they decide to come back...clearing everything out may be too final for them to deal with so they leave stuff there as a little safety net x

My now Nisi'd husband left last June when I found out his affair - it had started 5 days before his 40th birthday! But it wasn't a mid-life crisis honestly!

The day he left he took a small bag packed by me with clean clothes for 2 days - and all his dirty washing out of the washing basket.
A few days later he collected more bags packed by me. Within a few weeks al his stuff was gone - all packed by me and handed to him or delivered to his new 1 bed bachelor flat! I did NOT pack any dvds or cds but told him I wanted a list of what he wanted... he said not to bother. SO I haven't. Once the absolute is in I'll ebay anything I don't want and treat me and dd with the proceeds!

Interestingly he is o longer with the floozy as she missed ber nice big 4 bed house and wanted her old life back - more fool her husband if he let her!

I have still got no idea why he left or why he didn't take anything- guilt, remorse, couldn't be @rsed... a mix of all three maybe? Who knows... not me!

Wengen-we have the same picture, and I think we may have been married to the same man!!!
My ex left 11 mths ago-took his motorbike and car. He visited our home when I was at work to remove his tools, but nothing else. I bagged and boxed a few things up and left them in the shed. I then changed the locks to stop him accessing the house.
He made several appointments to come and collect the rest of his stuff, but never actually got around to doing it.
My son says the bags and boxes are sitting in the garage at his new partners house. Meanwhile, I have a skip ordered for 2 weeks time-the rest of his worldly goods will be going in it. 29yrs worth of a relationship off to the dump!!!! I am sooooo looking forward to it!

After solicitors letter requesting him to take rest of his belongings last November, and him agreeing except for items in garage which he had no where to store, I was still left waiting for him to collect until this week. I finally caught him out lying to our son and that was the final straw. I gave him one day to collect his stuff or I would put in wheely bin for dustmen to collect next day (even though I realised it was recycling this week, but he didn't know this). He did not come to collect. I gave him one last text to say collect within set time or I would deliver to him. It was quite late by the time I got to his rented house which was all in darkness (I had never been there before and had to get directions off AA routefinder). I didn't have the nerve to dump in front garden as he lives with his landlord, so when I saw his car I put it all on top of the roof rack. I have had no comment from him since regarding this, only texts regarding our son. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel for getting rid of his stuff, it is so healing. Good luck everyone else.

wow thankyou to you all for your replies and again to know that all that is happening to me is "normal".

My husband made an arrangement that he would phone me to sort out a date to collect his stuff. That was 2 weeks ago and I am still waiting.

I had a text 2 days ago saying "hope you are not working today out in this snow if you are take care, ok. Why text me that? what does he care if i am stranded in the snow. I felt he was just buttering me up as he knows he should have rung me by now.

I am finding living on my own hard but did cook a roast for myself this week! His mother told me I must get on with things now, yes I am, but I could have swung for her because it is her precious boy that has caused me all the pain and anguish. But as long as he is ok that is alright.

I have looked after her when she was ill. She has vomited over me and I have wiped her bum! What short memories they have and will the new perhaps future daughter - in- law be so good to her. I feel not somehow!!!

Wengen
xx

Mine didn't take his stuff either. He left and took a bag of clothes. He kept coming back to the house for weeks and only ever took a little bit more of his stuff (a few more clothes). Then in a fit of temper he stormed in one night to take our PC accompanied by his family who stood and took a video recording of him doing it (apparently in case of violence against him!!! me being tiny and him huge). The only violence was when he pushed me out of his way in front of the children.
The day after I looked around the house and saw all of his stuff still all there like it had been - all of his clothes, CD's, an attic full of his stuff etc etc. So I made the decision for him and took every last little bit of it to the dump!!

My ex left last november well I told him to leave as i found out about his affair. There are still some of his things in the garage one being a quite expensive scooter. My question is can I give him a time limit to remove them especialy as he has now stopped paying me any maintenance so is not contributing to the mortgage bills or my daughter. Any advice would be appreciated. If he does not then remove them am I within my rights to dispose of them as I so wish?