Why dont they take their belongings?

It's simple really. I was given 2 minutes to get out. I returned once to pick up some stuff a week later, and was then told I shouldn't come round without agreement.

I have since failed to reach agreement on anything - no access to see & help the children, no access to get the remainder of my clothes, no access to get any pictures of the children.

Stbx can ring me any time to lecture me that it's all my fault.

But I'm relieved to be out and able to think my own thoughts.


Kalamri

It is a mystery why they try to forget their past WENGEN (welcome by the way), its almost like they cannot deal with their guilt and with things that remind them of their guilt. It could also be that they simply are not bothered and want nothing from their previous life. I prefer to think it is the previous.

Please feel free to read my blog "There is never a bad memory in a photo" it may tell you a little of my stbx's attitude to possessions, particularly cherishable ones.

I have asked the same questions believe me, it must be part of the behaviour.

Good luck, your not alone

Mark

Mark wrote

its almost like they cannot deal with their guilt and with things that remind them of their guilt.

I never had much time for guilt, and this was re-inforced by a psychiatrist friend whose opinion was "guilt is the most useless emotion".

I'll do remorse, nobody's perfect, but when guilt is "treasured" and used perpetually as an emotional weapon, it's hugely destructive for all parties and their relationship.

Just my opinion.....

Best wishes

Kalamari

My husband left me two weeks ago after 20 years. We adopted 2 young children 2 years ago. He has a bird aviery in the garden and despite me telling him to move them they are still there, with me going to look after them every day. If I was'nt a animal lover I would let them all out just to get back at him for what he has put me through. When does it start to get better

My husband went to work and never came back to the MH. He said he was going only for couple of days to sort his head out and, sad to say, the home's like a shrine as I've not moved anything that he left. Even his toothbrush is waiting for him to come back to and take hold of again (and now I'm crying again).The only thing I didn't do was iron his clothes in the laundry basket (well... not all of them anyway). When we meet up he's wearing something that I've never seen him in before, including smellies and it HURTS!

My stbx took a quick bag of stuff. He does come back in the house twice a week but apart from laptop and cds going missing hasn't actually taken any of his clothes etc.

During one argument when he said I was been a bi***, I informed him if i was then all his clothes would be cut to shreds and his guitars smashed up. Half an hour later I saw him trudge to his (was our) car with his guitars - still left clothes??

My stbx left nearly 12 months ago and took almost everything, including the TV, fridge, piano, half the bedroom funiture and all of her personal belongings,

But now she says that half of everything in the house is hers?

Mind you i did help her, i put most of it on drive for her while she choosing what she wanted next, oh and it was raining - shame (may seem childish now but it was very funny at the time)

I think you are better off getting it all out, it will help you. You can then replace it with your own choice of belongings and you will have no emotional attachment to it other than it is now yours not theirs.