Mediation....Contact Orders...???

The court order states that I must make the children available for 4 overnight stays per month.

It then goes into detail about when he should send his rota, and when we have contact agreed by. This is due to his irregular shift pattern. So every month I cannot plan anything in my life until this is sorted.

I receive his rota on the 22nd along with a list of "can''t do" days.

There is nothing in the order with regards to holiday contact although when we were in the judges chambers we had a conversation about liasing with one another over the booking of annual leave, but alas he doesn''t remember the conversation.

I don''t believe calling my wife a ***** acceptable. It''s nothing to do with my wife and bringing her into it isn''t necessary. I''ve said if she apologises to my wife I am willing to discuss...its your call ex - wife. I''ve told you this.

However we can''t deny the fact you are blackmailing me so I can see boys. As you know there is a CO in place that you are ignoring.

What you fail to mention is I may not be able to have them on x amount of days, means I can for the rest ! So for February I am available for 28 days...

It not unusual for holidays to be loosely worded in a contact order/child arrangements order; or along the lines of "by agreement"..... It may be that the original order needs to be reviewed and varied with the holiday situation set out very clearly.

I don''t think it is unreasonable of you to request dates etc well in advance so you can make plans for your own holiday time with your children - the situation you are in requires a lot of balls to be juggled all at the same time, and it''s bloody hard work. I understand your frustrations with being given dates one month at a time, and not being able to make any kind of plans further ahead than a few weeks - it must make life very difficult. It''s not reasonable, however, to stop contact as you are in effect punishing your children for the dispute between you and their Dad. You are also in breach of a Court Order - you don''t want to have face enforcement proceedings. Contact should be reinstated immediately.

I contacted the family mediation center to help with sorting this all out, but he declined to go.

I''m at a loss as to what to do. I am certainly not going to willingly go to his house as I feel threatened by his behavior and that of his wifes.

Garmin wrote:

I don''t believe calling my wife a ***** acceptable. It''s nothing to do with my wife and bringing her into it isn''t necessary. I''ve said if she apologises to my wife I am willing to discuss...its your call ex - wife. I''ve told you this.

However we can''t deny the fact you are blackmailing me so I can see boys. As you know there is a CO in place that you are ignoring.

What you fail to mention is I may not be able to have them on x amount of days, means I can for the rest ! So for February I am available for 28 days...

Ok - that''s enough. it''s not acceptable to use the forum to have a slanging match with one another. The place to discuss this and to sort out your issues is in mediation - which you have been offered, Garmin.

This is exactly why I have offered mediation, so this can be sorted out, without the need to waste time going backwards and forwards to court, and to get it sorted out quicker.

I shared my holidays dates as soon as they were confirmed in November and have been waiting ever since.

This isn''t the first year this has happened, it happened last year as well, but I was in the wrong for booking a holiday last year and I don''t want this to be the case this year.

Please close this thread before it gets personal. Accusations have been made that are insubstantial and in fact you regularly drop the children to my house and there''s been no issues.

I refused mediation on the basis that if a CO will ignored then a "non - legal " agreement would be a waste of money. It''s "ex-wife''s way or no way "

So please close this thread. I will deal with on my own.