Mediation....Contact Orders...???

I don''t think the mother stopping contact is helping matters at all but seriously what''s the problem with letting her know when your planned leave is.
Whenever I book in my holidays for the year I always have let my ex know and especially when a planned holiday.It doesn''t make any difference though as my ex never has him during school holidays or takes him on holiday lol.
Perhaps you should both work together as Co parenting needs you both working together and not against each other.
Although your children are older enough to choose when they see you...holidays are different and you can''t expect the children to be go betweens that''s not right or fair on them.

The op has let the ex know the dates he is available to have the children and gives notice when he not available if necessary. Why should she know all his plan if they dont impact on her.

The op hasnt said he makes contact plans with his children or expects them to be the go between. He has just stated that they are at an age when they should be given some choice..

But surely Mrs Maths does it really matter if the father tells the mother the dates?.It''s his choice if he takes time off and doesn''t have the children.
I was just pointing out that contact can''t be sorted out through the children Mrs Maths.

You dont know what sort of reaction his ex has had in the past when he chose not to have the children.

My husband doesnt tell his ex any of his plans now because his ex tells the children that he doesnt love them enough to spend his time with them and how she always puts her children first. Which is a complete lie but she doesnt want to accept that she has no control over him now.

No you are right maths I don''t know how his ex reacted but for something so small this has blown out of proportion.
If you aren''t willing to give the dates or find out her reasoning behind this..maybe mediation is the best way forward for these parents.
Sorry to hear about your husband''s but each situation is different surely.

Couldn''t agree more Garmin....they will do exactly what they want. Solicitors letters - court orders mean nothing. I had to correct my solicitors spelling and the tone of the letters was pathetic but you don''t know until you try.

In your situation I would just aquiesce she is not going to change her mind and wants to be in complete control - until the government class this behaviour as domestic violence against men nothing will change. I can assure you that the second you react it will be domestic violence....I really hope all the kids caught up in this farce nationally come out of it with their sanity in tact.

I didn''t meet my own father until I was 20 and do you know what I am seriously considering that for my own son....that is how frustrated I am....

The big picture here is that the op ex thinks its acceptable to stop contact over what you see as a small issue.

Being continually emotionally blackmailed to do as I say or you cant see the children is no small issue.

My husband wont play her games, luckly she has never followed through with her threats and the children are of an age to think for themselves. It does get wearing though especially near 6 years on.